Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 85522 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85522 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
Case: No shit.
Case: Are you boring her or what?
Me: Fuck off. Tell Harv I said hey.
Case: 10-4
I love how he easily lets me off the hook because he knows I’m with a woman, but if I would have been sitting at home enjoying the peace and quiet there, he would have been knocking on my door and dragging my ass to the bar. He’s giving me peace for now, but I know as sure as I’m sitting here, that the next time I talk to him, he’s going to give me shit. Then he’s going to want to know what’s going on. What my intentions are. He doesn’t know her, has only met her once, and he’s still going to ask me.
Placing my phone back on the table, I try to focus on the movie. I’ve missed over half of it, and it’s unable to grab my attention, unlike the beautiful woman sleeping in my arms. She shifts, and now she’s lying on top of me. I bring my other leg up on the couch and wrap both of my arms around her. Closing my eyes, I focus on memorizing how this feels.
I used to think guys like Trent were crazy for having a wife and kid while traveling all the time… to be away from them while we’re on the road. It’s not about the temptation. You can remove yourself from that easily enough. The guys that give in to temptation put themselves in the middle of it. I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if she were mine. What would it be like coming home after being on the road to find her warm and snuggled in my bed? That image alone has my cock stirring to life, and we can’t have that. Not with her body aligned with mine. I don’t want to scare her off. No. In fact, I want to keep her with me as long as possible.
Holy fuck. I want her to be mine.
I let that thought take root, decipher what it would mean for me and for her, and then my mind goes to being with her like this all the time. No more random hookups. Instead, something meaningful and real.
Am I ready for that?
Am I ready for her?
Those are my last thoughts as I drift off to sleep.
Feeling as though I’m being watched, I peel my eyes open. Emma is still on top of me, but now she’s on her belly, her chin propped by her hand on my chest. Her green eyes stare at me intently and a slight blush coats her cheeks.
Busted.
“We fell asleep,” she says before I have a chance to call her out on watching me.
“We did.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
Another thing that sets her apart from the others is she’s open and honest. Sure, sometimes I feel as though I have to pull it out of her, but we’re just getting to know each other. I can only imagine that over time, I’ll never have to guess or pry it out of her. She’ll just tell me like she did just now.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“You first.”
“I’m thinking we should make this a tradition, naps on Saturday afternoons.”
“Pretty soon the season will start and you won’t have Saturday afternoons available for naps.”
“There’s always the off-season.” She closes her eyes, and I hate that we’ve lost that connection. “Em.” I brush some loose strands of hair away from her face while I wait for her to decide she’s ready to face me again. When she does finally open her eyes, they’re intense as they lock on mine.
“This isn’t a game, Landon. I can’t do this—” She indicates her head toward me. “—kind of thing without catching feelings. I know me, and I know I can’t do it. I won’t pretend to say that I know you, because I don’t. Do I think you’re a good guy? Yeah, I do. Do I think that this is really what you want? No, I don’t. It gets to you that I told you no, so you’re pulling out all the stops for me to say yes. What happens when I do? What happens then?”
I don’t have an answer for her, at least not one that she wants to hear. Instead, I answer honestly. “I’m not sure what this is. I’m not sure what it means that I’m perfectly content to hold you in my arms on a Saturday night when I could be… anywhere else.” Hurt flashes in her eyes, and I rush to explain. “I didn’t mean it the way that it sounded. I just mean, that this is where I chose to be. Here, with you. Why do we have to name it?”
“Because I want the fairy tale.”
I nod. I don’t know what to say to that. She deserves the fairy tale, but I’m not sure that I’m the one who can give her that. We’re at an impasse. I want to spend more time with her, I want more moments like this, but I don’t know if I can give her what she wants or what she deserves.