Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 127712 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 639(@200wpm)___ 511(@250wpm)___ 426(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127712 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 639(@200wpm)___ 511(@250wpm)___ 426(@300wpm)
It’s enough.
For now.
When I wake up in the morning, he’s already gone.
But on the pillow next to me is a note.
And in that note is a set of instructions for me to follow.
I smile like a winner.
Because this is a win.
TODAY
“What are you thinking so hard about?”
I’m still in the back garden, on the path, looking out at her sea of purple flowers when this question comes. When I turn, I catch a glimpse of her naked body just before she pulls a long, white silk robe closed and cinches the belt.
She planned that. She wanted to make an entrance.
But I don’t mind.
“Mercer,” I say. Even though that’s not entirely true. I’m thinking about us.
She sighs, then walks over to a white Adirondack chair and sits down, stretching her long, tanned legs out in front of her so her robe separates and almost—not quite, but almost—flashes her pussy before she crosses them. “This is what I don’t get about you.”
“Which part?”
“You want it all, Locke. You’re not satisfied with just me. You never have been.”
I shrug. “What’s wrong with wanting it all?”
“Nothing. I want it all as well.”
“You’re talking about Olsen.”
“Of course. Do you think he lives nearby by accident?”
“So you’re serious?”
“We’ve always been serious. You just never took the time to notice. You were always too distracted by Mercer.”
I scoff. “Me? What about you? I mean, come on, Nova. You and him—”
“We were nothing.”
“That’s not true, and you know it.”
Her face hardens into anger and her words are low and seething. “What he did to me—”
“He didn’t do that to you. You did that to yourself, Nova. It wasn’t him.”
“Maybe you should just go?”
“I thought you said you loved me last night?”
“Right back at ya, Locke.”
“So don’t kick me out. Stop running, for fuck’s sake. Just deal with it. Do you really think you can just spend the rest of your life living this fantasy? Refusing to see the truth?”
“Trust me.” She scoffs. “I have more truth than you.”
“And let me guess, Olsen gave you that truth? Because I’ve got to tell ya, Nova, if you believe that asshole, you’re insane. I found him in prison. I brought him—”
She puts up a hand, cutting me off. “I don’t care.”
“Well, you should care. Because it’s a major part of the fucking story.”
“So you keep saying.”
“A guy like him—”
“A guy like him?” She huffs out a laugh. “That’s rich, coming from you.”
“I’m just saying. Five years is not enough time to change one’s stripes.”
“Five years is more than enough time. He has his own business now.”
“Doing what? Repo man?”
“Why are you being an asshole?”
“He’s a criminal, Nova.”
“So are you. So is Mercer.”
“It’s not the same. Not even close.”
She snickers. “So you keep saying.”
There is a lingering silence after this. And I don’t know what to say next. Last night felt good. It felt right. We were declaring our love for each other.
And then I had to bring up Mercer.
“Ya know, you could have me.”
I look over at Nova. “What?”
“So easy. It would be so easy to get what you want. All you have to do is walk away from him.”
“And then what? Be a happy little threesome with you and Olsen?”
“That’s what you want with Mercer, Locke. It’s not that different.”
I scrub my scratchy face with both hands and sigh. When I look at her again, she’s frowning. “I don’t love Olsen, Nova. I don’t even know him anymore. It’s not gonna happen.”
But I do get what she’s saying. Also what she’s asking. I could be satisfied with Olsen. I don’t hate the guy. I just don’t love him.
She gives me an indifferent, one-shoulder shrug. “Well, I don’t love Mercer. I don’t even like him anymore. So it’s not gonna happen.”
We pause.
This pause lasts for minutes. We stare at each other. We stare at the flowers. We stare at each other again.
Finally, I say, “We love each other though, right? We still have that?”
She nods. “I do love you. I want you. I would even take you, and only you. But you won’t leave him. And I’m not leaving Olsen if you’re not leaving Mercer.” She gets up and turns towards the house. “Coffee’s made.” She peeks over her shoulder. “Want me to bring you a cup?”
“No. I’m coming in with you.”
And that’s how we leave it.
A stalemate.
We take our coffee to the breakfast table. We sit opposite each other. She puts her feet in my lap. I play with her toes and watch her smile as she tells a story about Veda’s homeschool progress. I like to hear about Veda’s life. I like that she’s smart. I like that Nova’s homeschooling her. She’s been reading for almost a year now. “Her handwriting isn’t that great,” Nova says. “But she’s getting better.”
I like to hear about their life. And when coffee is over, and Nova stands up, extending her hand to me, asking, “Would you like to do chores with me?” I take it, and agree, and she gets dressed in dirty jeans and t-shirt, and we go out to the barn and take care of living things that need us.