Total pages in book: 32
Estimated words: 29807 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 149(@200wpm)___ 119(@250wpm)___ 99(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 29807 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 149(@200wpm)___ 119(@250wpm)___ 99(@300wpm)
She’s making too much sense and I don’t like it. I don’t want to get over being angry. I’m not ready to forgive and move on. Darby kept my son from me. At least I thought she had. But I hear what Melody is saying. I could lose the two of them again, just when I found them. Melody pats me on the head and takes her leave. I stare at the fire until the flames become embers and the embers become ashes and the room grows cold. When the last light flickers out, I drag my sorry ass into the bedroom. Darby’s body is curled around our son. The two of them look small and fragile in my big bed. When I met Darby, she was a struggling preschool teacher. At first, she couldn’t believe that I’d fallen for her. She thought it was some kind of elaborate prank that her not very nice coworkers had set up.
She was, as Melody pointed out, alone in this world. I made her fall in love with me. I gave her promises—that I would always love her, that I would protect her, that she would never be alone. I didn’t keep those promises so am I the most angry with her or is it my failure that I can’t live with?
Chapter 12
Darby
I smile when I feel kisses on my cheeks. “Mommy,” Jax says, sounding extra awake. I open my eyes to see him with a giant smile on his face. That cute little face of his, reminding me what’s really important.
“Hey, angel.” I pull him into me, giving him kisses on his cheeks that make him giggle. It takes me a minute to remember where we are. I fight back all the emotions that tug at my insides as I try and keep it together. I will not have a breakdown in front of Jax. This might be a lot for him to handle, too. We are somewhere completely new. Nothing here is familiar to either one of us. If I’m struggling as an adult, then he must be, too.
“I hungry,” he tells me when I stop giving him little kisses everywhere.
“Okay. Let Mommy get you up.” I sit up. The sun is now pouring in through the windows. I spot my diaper bag that I don’t remember grabbing when we left my place. I turn to Jax to tell him to stay put while I grab it but stop when I see Jonas lying on the other side of the bed watching us. Jax follows my line of sight, lifting his hand to point at him.
“Hi!” Jax chirps at him before he starts to crawl toward Jonas. I know he doesn’t know that Jonas is his father, but it’s still shocking to see how quickly he’s taken to him. He’s always so shy around men. I think it has a lot to do with there not being many around him on a daily basis.
Jonas sits up, resting his back against the headboard while opening his arms for Jax. He watches him closely as Jax crawls into his lap and starts gibbering on. He’s so curious about Jonas. He reaches up to touch his face, tracing his little chubby finger along his nose. I watch as Jonas stares back at him with love in his eyes. I begin to tear up a little at their interaction.
“Was dis?” Jax points to something, making Jonas tell him what it is. Once he gets his first answer it spurs him on to continue asking more. Jonas patiently answers all of his questions.
Jax points to me as his next object to identify. I can feel the weight of Jonas’ stare as he lifts his eyes to look at me.
“That’s your mommy.” My little angel's eyes go back and forth between us. Jonas continues to stare at me until Jax pokes him. His little chubby finger raises up to point at Jonas.
“Daddy.” The word slips from my mouth before I can stop it. I don’t even look up to see Jonas' expression.
I slip off the bed to get Jax’s bag so I can change him. Jax is not one to skip meals. The only time he really gets cranky is when he’s hungry. Not even when he’s tired does he cry. He turns into a little cuddle ball.
“I've got it.” Jonas holds out his hand for the diaper bag. I still don’t make eye contact with him.
“I can do it.” I’m so used to doing everything on my own.
“I’ve got it. I put some of your stuff in the bathroom.” He motions toward two double doors.
“Is this my room?” I ask as I hand him the bag.
“My room?” Jax asks.
“You can have any room you like.” Jonas kisses Jax on the cheek, making him giggle. Jax runs his hand along Jonas’s morning stubble on his cheek.