Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 76539 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76539 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
“You smile in pictures?” Robyn asks. “I thought you only scowled.”
I wave her off. “—I thought then I’d get ahead. And now here I am, working at a law firm, on the exact path I’m supposed to be on, and all I want to do is get off it and go find Angelo. I thought my parents could keep me safe and help me with the baby, and now I’m realizing that all this time, it’s never been about me, it’s always been about them. My job, my life, my career, even my pregnancy, it’s about what they want and need, and I’ll never be the priority. Unless I make myself the priority.”
“Damn right,” Robyn says and walks over. She collapses back onto the couch beside me. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to get Nicolas out of jail. I’m going to win this case.”
“Great, but what about Angelo?”
I glance toward her window where the morning sunlight’s slanting through. “I guess I should call him.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“But I don’t know what I’m going to say.”
“Then don’t say anything. Just tell him how you feel.”
“I don’t know how I feel, either.”
“Sara.” She gives me a look. “You’re very frustrating.”
“I’m aware, but I’m new to this whole… living my own life, thing. You know, feeling feelings. That’s not really my jam.”
“I’m proud of you at least.” She squeezes my knee. “For trying.”
“Yeah, well, this isn’t over. We still might end up little blood smears on the floor.”
She stands and stretches. “To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.”
“Don’t quote The Smiths at me.”
“Call him,” she says and walks toward her bedroom. “I’m taking a shower.”
I watch her disappear into the hall. I glance back at the window, then down at my coffee, and I take a long sip. I see Dad’s face again, his anger and rage when I walked away from Chief Corvine. I see Mom’s disappointment, her scorn, her simmering discontent. I see two people like me, two people that do the right thing but are still miserable, utterly miserable, because they’re playing someone else’s game.
I’m going to play my own.
Chapter 29
Angelo
The hotel lobby is empty. The girl behind the desk is busy looking at her cell phone and occasionally answering the phone while only a few guests hurry through on the way to the elevators. I watch each face, wondering if I’ll catch sight of Detective John or Mustache or some other cop here to put a bullet in my head for what I did.
Instead, there’s nothing.
No calls, no handcuffs. No shouting or violence or circling cars.
I knew that fucking coward would back down the second I pushed him like every other cheap high school bully.
The doors open again, and my heart skips a beat. She steps inside and looks around, wearing tight jeans and a dark sweater, her hair up the way I like. She scans the room and spots me, and her face shifts from her usual icy glare to a soft, almost apologetic smile.
Sara walks toward me and I stand to meet her.
“I’m glad you came,” I say and kiss her on the cheek.
She looks uncomfortable. “I’m the one that called you, remember?”
“I know that, but you did make it clear that you don’t want anything to do with me anymore.”
“Not like you gave a shit about that.”
I quirk a smile and shrug. “That’s fair. But you’re here now.”
“I’m here now.”
We linger and the tension grows. She didn’t tell me what she wanted to talk about over the phone and I’m not sure if it’s professional or something else. I don’t want to get my hopes up—I don’t think I can survive getting crushed again—so I’m here with no expectations. I’m here to listen.
“Can I tell you something?” I ask her as I guide her to the couches.
She sits down and crosses her legs. “Sure, go ahead.”
“I decided something recently.” I sit down in the chair next to her and turn slightly so I can see her face. “Back when I was in Philly, I never thought about who I am and how people see me. I was surrounded by the Famiglia, by men like me, women that are used to men like me, and nothing else mattered. I have my brothers, I have my friends, I have my work. That’s all I needed, at least until I met you and started questioning all that.”
“Angelo,” she says, panic in her eyes, but I hold a hand up.
“I decided I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. I care about you, and I care about that baby you’re carrying, and it doesn’t matter if I’m some lowlife criminal that has to fight for every scrap. You can tell me you don’t want to see me again, you can tell me you hate me, and I still won’t abandon you. I’m done pretending like being good matters. I am what I am, princess. And I won’t change.”