Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 80074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
As soon as he opened the door and saw me standin’ there, he instantly tugged me into his arms. Welcomin’ me with a big ass hug, squeezin’ the hell out of me.
“I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Harley. I swear I just didn’t wanna fuck up what they had. Shiloh was happy, they were in love. It didn’t matter how it started, and to be completely honest, I didn’t remember until you brought it up. You know I wouldn’t let anythin’ happen to either of you.”
“I know,” I replied, feelin’ guilty Jackson said almost the exact same thin’ about Trigger and Shiloh.
He pulled away, and our eyes connected.
“You been cryin’. What’s wrong?”
“We gotta talk, Cash.”
“What did that motherfucker do now?”
I shook my head. “It ain’t Jackson this time.”
He nodded for me to come in, closin’ the door behind me. I didn’t hesitate, I couldn’t.
Blurtin’, “I’m pregnant.”
His eyes widened, stunned to the max. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “It was confirmed by my doctor.”
“Does Jackson know?”
“It ain’t Jackson’s baby.”
All of a sudden, the blood drained from his face, and he jerked back.
“His team has this thing where they can’t have sex durin’ trainin’. Some shit about needin’ testosterone for the field, and his coach doesn’t want any of them losin’ focus. The baby is yours, Cash.”
His eyes widened again, lookin’ like he was gonna pass out or throw up.
“Maybe you should sit down.”
Movin’ toward the couch, he did exactly that, cradlin’ his head in between his hands.
“Will you please say somethin’?”
Liftin’ his gaze, with sad watery eyes, he stated, “I’m so fuckin’ sorry this happened. I never in a million years—”
“No.” I shook my head profusely. “I know that. I’m not blamin’ you. We’re both responsible for this, Cash. I’m as much to blame as you are.”
“So what now?”
“I’m still takin’ things one day at a time.”
He raked his hands roughly through his messy long hair. Fightin’ an internal battle I had started.
“Harley, take a look around. I can’t bring a baby into this world, and you’re still in school. We can’t be parents. This is never goin’ to work out between us. It ain’t fair.”
“Are you suggestin’ we give it up for—”
“No... I was thinkin’ maybe... I mean ... fuck,” he scoffed out. “I can’t even bring myself to say it.”
My mouth dropped open. A sense of loss settled over me. “If you can’t even say it, how the fuck do you think I could even do it!”
He abruptly stood up. “Jesus Christ, Harley. What the fuck am I supposed to say? I can’t even feed myself right now. I can’t provide for a baby I don’t even remember makin’.”
“No shit, Cash. While this baby may not be the product of marriage, it is a product of love. Our best friend love we have for one another. It’s part you and part me. I can’t just get rid of it. I’d never be able to live with myself, and you couldn’t either! Don’t try to pretend like you could go through with gettin’ rid of an innocent life you created.”
I couldn’t see straight.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to punch somethin’.
Hearin’ him exhale a huge remorseful breath didn’t take away the emotions of wantin’ to hurt him. I wiped away the tears on my face that seemed to keep fallin’, while absentmindedly rubbin’ my stomach. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten that day.
I watched as he walked over to the window by the far corner of the room. With his back now to me, he professed, “I have to prove everyone wrong, Harley. We’re too young to do this. You know it’ll ruin our lives.” Defeat was the only thing laced in his tone.
Unexpectedly, I found myself feelin’ alone in all this. I didn’t know what he’d say, what his reaction would be, however, I never envisioned it’d be this.
How could he want to get rid of somethin’ we made together? Punish a human life for our fuck up.
My heart was shattered, crushed on the filthy floor.
“I can’t believe you’re sayin’ this to me.” With fresh tears swellin’ in my swollen eyes, I muttered, “Who are you right now? ’Cuz this man standin’ in front of me, sayin’ these ridiculous things ... he’s not my best friend. The boy who always protected me, where did he go?”
It physically pained me to watch the emotional detachment of everythin’ I said to him.
It was like he was here, but he wasn’t. Incapable of lookin’ me in the eyes. My fists clenched at my sides. My anger takin’ control, seepin’ out of my blood onto the man I thought I knew.
“I am protectin’ you from makin’ the biggest mistake of our lives.”
It was like a monster had replaced the first boy I ever loved. Tears fell down the sides of my face, feelin’ like he was stabbin’ me over and over again with an imaginary knife.