Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92848 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92848 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
“No.” He lays his fork down and straightens on the chair as if putting on a brave face. “I was hoping she’d change her mind, but she booked a last-minute cruise to the Bahamas and left this morning.”
The bomb he just dropped explodes in my brain, blowing everything to bits.
I can’t believe Pamela did this.
Well…that’s not true. I can totally believe it.
I can’t help but wonder if I had anything to do with her decision to call off the wedding. Guilt pricks at me as I stare across the table at Crawford.
Then again, this is exactly what Mom does. I might be secretly relieved by the turn of events, but it’s obvious that he’s in pain. Crawford has never failed to see the best in her.
Even when he shouldn’t.
“I’m sorry.”
It takes every ounce of self-control not to admit that he’s better off without her.
He forces a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes before shrugging. “I should have seen it coming. The one thing your mother doesn’t like is to be tied down. She wants to take off whenever the urge strikes, and that’s not something I can do right now.”
“That doesn’t excuse her behavior,” I grumble, unable to help myself.
“I know,” he says with a heavy sigh. “We can’t help who we love, can we?”
My greatest fear lurks like a monster in the darkness at the back of my brain. The question is out of my mouth before I can stop it.
“I’m not like her, am I?”
He blinks as if trying to play mental catchup. “Like Pamela?”
I nod, almost afraid to hear his answer. For Crawford to think that I’m a carbon copy of her would be devastating.
When he remains silent, searching my eyes, I admit softly, “I don’t want to be.”
Understanding dawns as he reaches across the table and covers my hand with his larger one. “Only in the very best ways, Carina. Your mother has a sparkling personality and so do you. That woman is the life of the party.” He gives me a wink. “Just like you. For a lot of years, she busted her ass, so you had a safe place to live. Often working overtime to make sure you had whatever you needed.”
Guilt suffuses me because he’s right. There were times when she went without comfortable shoes for work so I could sign up for a dance class or afford the newest recital costume.
“It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with her to begin with. I’m well aware that in this day and age, a woman doesn’t need to be taken care of, but I wanted to make her life easier. Better. And for a while, we were really happy.” A faraway look enters his eyes. “I didn’t think that was possible after Sandra died. What I’ve learned throughout the years is that sometimes relationships or people are only in your life for a short period of time and don’t last forever. You have to make the most of them while you can. Nothing is ever guaranteed.” He refocuses his attention on me before leaning forward and ensnaring my gaze. “But you, my dear, are in it for much longer. No matter what happens with Pamela, I’ll always be your father.”
I don’t realize that tears have gathered in my eyes until one spills down my cheek. I jump from the chair and fly around the circular table, burying my face against his broad chest as more wetness leaks from me.
Once the floodgates open, there doesn’t seem to be a way to stop it. I don’t remember the last time I cried like this. As emotion continues to pour from me, his arms tighten as if he’ll never let go.
“I’m sorry, Carina,” he murmurs. “Maybe I should have said all this to you a long time ago. I just assumed you understood my feelings.”
“Do you promise to always feel that way no matter what happens with her?”
I need him to say the words.
Just once.
Out loud.
“I do. You’re my daughter in every way possible and nothing will ever change that. Nothing.”
I swipe at the tears as I pull away enough to settle on the chair next to him. “I was afraid that after you found me with Ford, you’d feel differently.”
He shakes his head. “Never. Maybe I was shocked by what I walked in on, but that’s all it was. Surprise.” He releases a steady breath. “I never wanted Ford to take advantage of you or make you feel pressured to do something you weren’t ready for.”
“It was never like that between us,” I tell him.
“After I found out that you were sneaking into his room and spending the night, I made sure it came to an end. I was so disappointed in him.”
“Wait a minute…what?” I blink away the wetness as my head spins with this revelation. “You mean senior year?”