Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71054 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 355(@200wpm)___ 284(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
Nolan’s jaw clenched. “Pretty sure we’re not a novelty act, and it’s those kinds of comments that make me question whether we were ever friends to begin with. I feel like I don’t even know you.”
“Shit. There I go sticking my foot in my mouth again. I didn’t mean… I always had this dream, you know? Of being bigger than we are.”
“You’ve always been way more ambitious than all of us combined,” I said. “We figured you’d find a band with the same aspirations.”
“Hubris seems like a good fit,” Nolan said.
“Or maybe it’s time to accept reality,” Perry replied softly. “That this is it for me. And recognize what a privilege it is to play with people I consider my best friends.” He winced. “Or used to be before I fucked up everything.”
Nolan narrowed his eyes. “What brought on this realization?”
“Playing with Hubris was nice and all, but it wasn’t the same. Not like how I feel with you guys. We have chemistry that can’t compare, and after a couple of weeks of missing what we had, it hit me. That I was throwing it all away because I was too much of a control freak.”
“I never understood what’s so wrong with the life we have going right now,” I said, then cast a glance toward Nolan. “I’m not sure it gets much better.”
Perry said, “Nothing’s wrong with it. It’s actually great, and I was taking it for granted.” His shoulders slumped. “Sometimes it’s just hard to let go of your dreams. I was acting like an idiot, thinking someone would discover us on Spotify or at a show on the road, and I was driving you guys bonkers in the process.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Anthony said, and I nodded. It was the same after I divorced, thinking that marriage wasn’t going to be in the cards for me. Turned out, the vision had changed, but it was still the same dream. Maybe even better because it involved my best friend and everything I’d ever longed for. Some days I still needed to pinch myself to make sure it was real.
“And maybe a part of me is jealous,” Perry muttered, looking away as if embarrassed.
“Of what?” Nolan asked, his tone still skeptical.
“Of you and Ellis.” He waved a hand between us. “In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have the best luck with relationships.”
“Have you met me?” I asked. “Your divorced friend?”
“Yeah, but you always bounce back, Ellis.” He shook his head. “I might’ve kept us all plugging along with the gigs and ideas, but Anthony kept us centered, and you kept us upbeat. But more than that, you’ve been the glue holding us all together.”
I didn’t know about all that, but it felt good hearing it.
“And,” Perry continued, “no doubt Nolan keeps us all in check. Plus, with his vocals and front-runner charm, he definitely brings all the girls to the yard—and the guys too, apparently.”
I laughed, couldn’t help myself, and when I cast a glance in Nolan’s direction, he rolled his eyes. But there was a trace of a grin on his lips.
33
Nolan
Perry bit his lip, looking the most vulnerable I’d ever seen him. “I don’t know if I ruined everything for good, or…maybe you’d consider giving me a second chance?”
Ellis looked at Anthony first, lifting his shoulder in a shrug as if to say, who knows? Then he looked at me, figuring I’d be the holdout. And why shouldn’t I be? Perry put us through a bunch of bullshit and then came running back with his tail between his legs because he didn’t fit in with Hubris?
I said, “I’m not exactly convinced you’re not some homophobe with the way you reacted to us.”
Perry threw up his hands. “Show affection all you want, onstage or off. I told you, I’m jealous you found each other. I’m sorry I hurt you.” His voice turned gravelly like he was holding back emotions. “I’m nothing without your friendship. You’re like family to me.”
“But even family can turn toxic,” Ellis pointed out.
The room grew quiet as we collectively held our breath, but three sets of eyes were focused on me, waiting on my response.
Perry was right—Ellis was definitely the glue holding us together. Always had been, no matter how much he’d probably deny it. But now, in this moment, we couldn’t help falling apart at the seams.
I said, “I think we need time…to discuss it and figure out how we feel.”
Perry’s face fell. “Okay, I get that.” There was an awkward pause, and then he turned toward the door. “Just text me when you decide one way or another. I’ll keep my stuff here for now.”
When he left the room, no one spoke for a long minute.
Then Ellis said, “Do you think his apology is genuine?”
“I don’t know, maybe?” I replied. “But what if he fucks us over again?”