Total pages in book: 144
Estimated words: 135382 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 677(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 451(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135382 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 677(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 451(@300wpm)
This is her punishment, to know he can’t love her back.
And then she holds him. Not the father. No. She won’t hold the father again. He is lost to her, a silent figure, but the son isn’t silent.
He blinks open his eyes and she finds her purpose.
I am going to gut that kid of yours. Do you understand me, girl? I’ll do it in front of you if you don’t get what I need out of that fucker.
“Steph?”
Cold air shocked her, her whole body shaking. Nate. He was going to kill her son and she didn’t even understand what was going on. Terror flooded her system. She wouldn’t be able to save him.
“Nate,” she said, but it came out as a whisper, her voice hoarse as though she’d been screaming and couldn’t do it anymore.
“He’s fine. He’s all right.”
The dream had her in a fog. Why was she wet? And naked. She was naked and Brody was lifting her up.
He held her close. “Hush, luv. You’re going to wake the baby and have every bodyguard in the area running in here. I don’t want to have to punch the men we’re paying to keep us safe so stop fighting me. It was only a dream.”
A dream. A waltz through Hell was more like it.
What would he think if he knew the things she’d done? How she’d punished herself, tried to obliterate herself? Would he think he wasn’t good enough for her then? Or would he look at her like her father had? Would he figure out she was nothing but a piece of garbage to sweep under the rug and out of his life?
“Come on. You’re shaking. Can you stand?”
He was holding her and getting soaking wet. She was making a fool of herself. She slowly nodded, trying to get her mind off that terrible dream. She could still feel the wretched heat coming off the boss’s body as he’d leaned in and explained how he would kill her precious baby if she didn’t perform. She could smell the acrid scent of the cigar he’d smoked the whole time he was there.
Cool tile steadied her as Brody eased her down. She covered her breasts, wrapping her arms around her body in an attempt at modesty.
Brody stepped away for a moment and she was left shivering with the memory of how that man had stormed into her clinic, brandishing guns and knives and threatening everything she held dear if she didn’t help him.
“He told me I had to get him what he wanted,” she said quietly.
Brody came back, a big, fluffy towel in his hands. He wrapped it around her, his arms following and pulling her back to the comfort of his body. “Did he say what he wanted?”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t know. Maybe, but I don’t remember right now. I think Taggart’s right and I need someone to walk me through it. God, Brody, I want to forget.”
“I know, but you have to remember. Not tonight though. Tonight you need sleep. Try not to think about it.”
How the hell was she going to do that? She couldn’t get the vision out of her head.
“You’re fine now.” He held her tight, his voice whispering against her ear. “You’re safe and here with me and Nate’s sleeping. We’re all safe. No need to be afraid.”
She loved how strong he was, the way his arms seemed to cage her in the most delicious way. There was safety in that sweet cage.
But she had to remember that he’d made his choice long ago.
“I’m all right. I’ll get dressed now. Thank you for waking me up.” She made the words as polite as possible.
“You could have drowned.”
That was a bit of a stretch since her hair wasn’t even wet. “I’m good now. Like you said it was nothing more than a dream.”
“I don’t want to let you go,” he whispered.
Would it be so bad to let him kiss her? To spend another night in his arms? Maybe if she let Brody make love to her, she wouldn’t think about that terrible dream. Maybe he could tire her out and then she could sleep.
She knew it was wrong and there was a part of her that wondered if this wasn’t another sick way to punish herself more. She wasn’t planning on a life with Brody. He could be in Nate’s life and not truly in hers. But maybe she could let herself have one more night with him.
“What if you didn’t?”
She felt him go still behind her. What if he’d been joking? What if those words had been nothing more than a way to try to make her feel better about herself, and now he was going to turn her down again?
A sick feeling lit the pit of her stomach as she waited for him to let her go.