Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 75720 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75720 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
I let that sink in, allowing the words to nestle somewhere inside my chest. Even in my longest relationship and most recent relationship, I’d never really heard words like those. Franky was so busy hating himself and what we were doing that he rarely—if ever—let me know how much he enjoyed his time with me. I didn’t realize how good it would feel to hear those kinds of words, especially when they were coming from Jake’s lips. I felt high. Giddy and floaty, like I was being lifted by the bubbles breaking all around me and pushed straight into the galaxies above us.
“We should do this more often, go on little escapes. I like traveling with you,” I said, letting my heart speak before my brain did.
“Let’s do it. Where do you want to go next?”
I considered his question, a dozen different picturesque destinations gliding across my mind. “We’ve got the mountains covered. Want to do a beach next? Maybe Costa Rica?”
Jake’s brows shot up at that. “I’ve always wanted to go. My mom actually used to go a lot when she was a kid. My aunt used to live there but moved to America sometime after I was born, so we never ended up going.”
“Let’s do it, then. We can explore the jungle and maybe take some surf lessons.”
“We’ll book it tomorrow,” Jake said, and just like that, we had another vacation scheduled together. That giddy feeling only grew more intense. I loved this moment. I loved tonight.
I loved—no. Nope. Too soon to go there. Even though the L-word wanted to shoot from my throat and land directly on Jake, I had to swallow it down. It would change everything between us. And what if I said it and Jake didn’t feel it back? We’d only been together for three months; even though it felt like three lifetimes already, he could potentially shut me down.
“How’s your mom?” I asked before I could let my head drift too far up into the clouds.
“She’s okay. My aunt’s actually staying with her this weekend, just in case. This is probably the farthest I’ve been from her in a while. It’s tough, not gonna lie. But at least she isn’t alone.”
I nodded my head, cuddling in closer to Jake. “Do you think she’d want to go to Costa Rica with us?”
Jake looked at me, his eyes catching the moonlight, his smile as soft as the diamond-white glow. I was surprised when I saw a tear slip from the corner, falling down his cheek like a stray jewel. “I don’t think she can,” he said, his voice hitching. “But God, I’d love it if she could. Us three together, that would be incredible. But… she’s already forgetting some major things. I don’t think taking her out of her comfort zone would be good.” He closed his eyes and swallowed a lump. “Fuck, I can’t even talk about her without getting choked up.”
“It’s okay,” I said, rubbing the back of his neck. I’d come to learn that was one of his favorite places to be touched. “I can’t imagine how hard this must be. I’m lucky enough to say I’m close with both my parents, and they’re both in good health. I honestly dread getting any kind of call with bad news from them. And you’ve been so supportive of her, too. You’ve been a really good son, and that’s what matters.”
Jake’s bottom lip quivered. Seeing him crack like this made my own emotions swell like a rising tide. “It just really fucking sucks. I’m twenty-six, and I’m already losing my mom after I already lost my dad. And it’s all happening in—in slow motion. I have to watch her forget about me. I have to watch—” He couldn’t continue, his lip shaking beyond his control, more crystalline tears dripping down his cheeks. I turned away, hiding my own tears, not wanting to feed into his sadness.
“And there’s nothing I can do,” Jake continued when he felt comfortable enough to speak again. “There’s nothing that can give us hope. I’ve tried getting her into a few experimental trials, but nothing is guaranteed. It’s such a monstrous disease. Cruel.”
“Even if she can’t remember, those moments you’ve shared with her aren’t going anywhere. They’ll always make up the fabric of you and her. History can’t be erased, no matter how flimsy memory can be. And then when we all make it to wherever we’re going in the end, we can reminisce on them.”
Jake licked his lips and managed a smile. His eyes bounced between mine like he was searching for something. What it was, I wasn’t sure, but I let him look, digging through my soul for whatever it was he needed.
“That’s a beautiful way to think about it,” he finally said. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, his lips lingering on my skin for a couple of heavenly moments. “Maybe there is a way to keep the hope alive after all.”