Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 127201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Miguel swallowed, unsure whether they ought to walk in circles or find a place to sit, but the wooden mannequins peering through the windows of fake buildings wouldn’t stop unnerving him. After a lifetime of danger, how was he to gather his thoughts when each of the humanoid shadows might be secretly made of flesh and put a bullet in his head?
“Some of these amusement parks… They’re not very well put together, but as a kid, I didn’t see it or care. When we grow up, everything becomes more complicated and it’s hard to enjoy what’s in front of us,” Miguel said as they strolled through the imitation Wild West town like two bandits about to be confronted by the story’s hero, not at midday but deep in the night, so that innocents would not be plagued by the memory of their demise.
Nero grinned. “Yeah. I remember that one time I went with my nanny, and afterwards, all my father wanted to know was whether I scored high in the shooting game. But all I really wanted—” He jogged up to a carousel and grabbed one of the poles supporting its roof before pulling himself up into the crowd of carriages, horses, and bison, which people would have ridden when this place was still full of lights and movement. “I just wanted to relax and let the merry-go round carry me.”
Miguel leaned against the open carriage Nero climbed into. He patted the metal door. “This thing had to be mass-produced because I rode this exact same one as a kid. Though for some reason, ours had a giant hot dog pulling it instead of the bison.”
Nero laughed, relaxing in the seat, and while it was too dark for Miguel to see details of his appearance, he still knew that the tattoos, and those maddening nipple rings were still there, within reach. “Mine was… more like a girls’ carousel. With unicorns and shit. I liked to ride a blue Pegasus, and at the time I was convinced it might just rise up to the ceiling, since it had wings.”
What were they even talking about? This wasn’t at all what Miguel needed to do. As nice as it was to hear Nero’s laugh again, he had to man up.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, thankful that he couldn’t see Nero’s eyes well, because their piercing green might rob him of the courage needed for this conversation. “I don’t think I… expressed myself that well before.”
“No?” Nero asked, refusing to acknowledge the apology and call it a day. Of course, he needed to make things hard for Miguel.
Miguel sucked in a lungful of air and leaned against the carriage with his back to Nero, because he knew the necessary words would come out easier that way. “You talked about giving head, and I… panicked. I don’t find you… disgusting. But we’re different in these things, and when I think of being touched by a stranger this way it makes me… uncomfortable. You can obviously do whatever you want, and that’s your business.”
The silence behind him was like a painful weight hanging from Miguel’s neck, but Nero spoke just before he could have snapped and asked for forgiveness. His warm voice came from closer than expected, caressing Miguel’s ear.
“Yeah, you did a shit job expressing that.”
Miguel choked but managed not to shiver as he spoke. “How did you… you told me about your first, but how did you even survive among the Caimans being who you are?”
“I wouldn’t have if my father didn’t want to keep me alive. I guess when I was first outed… I was too young and dumb to think of consequences. With time, I realized I was relatively safe because of him. He wouldn’t get rid of his own blood as long as I was ruthless enough and did what was asked of me,” Nero said behind Miguel’s back. His shoes scraped the floor of the carriage, and the sound made Miguel’s nape heat up. Would Nero touch him now? Would he make another attempt to seduce Miguel? Would Miguel… accept it this time?
Miguel swallowed and glanced over his shoulder, seeing the whites of Nero’s eyes in the dark. “How can you be ruthless but let other men… you know?”
Nero was so close Miguel could practically feel his smile. “Are you saying I wasn’t ruthless with Aaron?” he asked and stepped over the front of the carriage to sit sideways on the back of the bison.
Miguel followed him, drawn by his unexplainable need. “You were. And that’s where you lose me. I can’t see myself becoming intimate with someone then discarding them like they’re a piece of meat.”
Nero stretched his legs as he watched Miguel without blinking. “Sex usually isn’t in any way intimate for me. It’s very physical. Just me and some meat puppet. There needs to be more than that for closeness.”