Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
First fling.
Now past.
Wow. Just. Wow.
Maybe I just go for Dueri, no, no horrible idea, that would be settling—for her, not me. She’d feel like a charity case and I’d feel like shit for trying to love someone when my heart’s currently in the grips of Satan who happens to be ripping it apart bit by bit.
Lucas elbows me as if to say get it together, he clears his throat. I sit up straight and try to pay attention to the conversation, but I can feel the soul gripping emotion coming over me, which is so weak on my part but it hurts.
She was everything I relied on for years once we debuted.
Was I really used?
Was I really all the things she said about me? Am I?
I lean my head on Jay’s shoulder. I know I don’t need to say anything, he just lets me and keeps talking while Lucas pats me on the back.
Kai looks over and shares a knowing look with me then jumps to his feet. “You know what? Fuck this bullshit. Me, Rae, and Sookie are the last men standing in that challenge. The other two can work on the song, loathe as I am to admit it.” He leans his head back and swallows. “Loathe, I mean absolute hate, no change that, I mean this in a way that makes me think quitting would be better—go to Ji-Woo and Kwan, they write really well and they might be collab writers on this project, we’re from the same label, have the same release month, fandoms will go crazy.”
The room gets silent.
A knock sounds on the very open door. It’s Ji-Woo, he’s wearing no shirt and eating yogurt with his fingers. “Heard my name.”
“How old are you? Again?” I ask.
He chokes out. “Seventeen and the spoons were dirty.” He slurps more yogurt off his finger. “What?”
“We need help!” Jay blurts, then murmurs. “I need help, because that was… crazy. I’m going crazy.” He looks up at me like he’s trying to communicate with his exhausted face and hickey but I have nothing.
I narrow my eyes. He mouths. “Later.”
“Falling from that pedestal so soon?” Ji-Woon asks taking another bite.
“We want to collaborate on a song.” Lucas announces casually.
Ji-Woo starts choking on his yogurt. Rae jumps up and pats him roughly on the back. “You good?”
“What?” He looks around the room. “Is this a prank?”
“No,” we say in unison.
“Sadly…” Kai starts. “You’re our only hope, we’ll just call you Luke Skywalker.” He sighs. “Well, you and Eric—you think you and Kwan could help us re-write something and make it a banger all within the next week and a half?”
He grins. “Do I get song credit and do I get producing credit?”
I knew he would ask this.
Rae stands slowly. “You’ll get both if you help. We’re under a deadline.”
He nods. “And I also get to hold it over your head.” He holds out his hand. “I’m in.”
Rae shakes his head. “Yeah, I’m not touching that.”
It’s the yogurt hand.
“Oh.” He quickly licks his fingers, then holds it out again. Rae shakes the one finger without yogurt and walks away.
Ji-Woo chases after him. “Hey what are we writing about? When do we start?”
“The maknae line sure is… chaotic sometimes.” Lucas says looking over at me.
I roll my eyes. “Me? I’m completely normal.”
“Don’t tell him. Ever.” Lucas says quickly.
“Ever, ever, never, ever.” Kai joins in.
Jay suddenly sits fully up. “I’m sorry are we talking about Sookie and sex again?”
“There was no sex.” I blurt. “Only, light, um, petting?”
Lucas’s laugh fills the room. “Sure, light petting is how lipstick gets in all the places and moves cars, all right.”
“YOU MOVED A CAR?” Jay shouts.
We all rush over to tackle him to the ground. He tries talking against our hands. All I hear is muffled screaming when Rae walks back in and sighs. “Why is it always you guys?”
“What?” Kai jerks back. “It’s because you have no choice but to be responsible, oh also that reminds me, they’re swapping the girls for more drama, you have Beth for the mystery date tonight, they’ll stage it that you got her.” He turns to me. “And you got your ex, congrats.”
I put my hands over my face and groan. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“What, um,” Rae leans down. “Really happened with her?”
Everything. “Nothing.” I lie. “Nothing worth mentioning.” Without truly ruining my career and life. “But, Rae, hold up for a minute.”
The rest of the guys slowly get up and walk out of the room leaving me and Rae alone. He shoves his hands into his white joggers, he always puts his hands in his pockets when he’s nervous.
“Nothing major.” I mean not for this subject. “Treat her well, she’s dying, as you know and this is like her final moment, I know I shouldn’t have kissed her and I’m sorry, I’ll write an apology if things get heated but she’s a really nice girl, honestly, I think you would really like her.”