Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
What if he falls for one?
What if he realizes I’m nothing special?
I know that at the end of the day it doesn’t matter, we can’t ever be anything no matter how much either of us may want it…
And… he’s still young. God. What am I saying? He certainly doesn’t feel young—at least, not his experience level, which is shocking.
Yes, my mind immediately goes there. To his experience level.
The way he touches me. The caress of his fingertips, of his lips. The power in his grip… the way he just takes charge and owns me. I’m not kissing the youngest K-pop idol in SWT.
I’m kissing a grown ass man.
I shiver.
I need to stop thinking about it.
I walk back into the conference room and quickly start to collect all of the contracts and tuck them in the leather portfolios. My feet ache from being in heels all day and my heart hurts where it shouldn’t all because I fell for the wrong person.
Don’t they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else? Yuck. The idea is physically repulsive to me. I can’t imagine anyone else touching me, let alone putting their hands on my body. I shake my head and try to steer my thoughts back to business. Of course, I stare right down at Sookie’s contract. He’s always done a bigger S in the beginning and a heart over his I when signing anything.
Today, it looks like he’s lost all his joy and simply decided to sign like a normal human—not an idol. I know he’s been having it rough lately, I just wish I knew what else was bothering him other than the stress from all the pressure this job of his brings.
I can’t blame him for feeling the way he does.
He’s not a child. He’s a grown man with needs and wants—playing the cutesy innocent guy that he’s forced to project would get old for anyone—no matter how much money and fame is being thrown at you. I’m pretty sure he physically gags when he has to do a little heart in front of his face and talk in a cutesy voice.
It’s the furthest thing from what he is.
He’s too deep for the persona he plays. He’s too masculine. There’s so much going on underneath all the layers he’s forced to project to the world.
Now that’s the guy I think the fans would go even crazier for.
The real Sookie.
The real Sookie that feels deeply.
But revealing that side of him is not part of the plan—at least not for now. And at the end of the day, what’s more important? Being real? Or making money? I love Siu, I think he’s a great manager but when things take off like they have been it’s easy to lose focus, it’s easy to stop asking the questions, “Is this okay? Are you good?”
I don’t blame him.
I just wish he would notice how much the group is suffering emotionally.
To cheer myself up, I think about Sookie’s unusual outbursts today and have to cover my mouth with a laugh.
It was hilarious.
I think the guys from TestME were so shocked they didn’t even know how to respond. I mean, none of us really did. And to be fair, for all the toughness they throw out, those boys from TestME are the most innocent I’ve ever met. One time someone said shit and their leader paled and asked if they were going to get fired. They put up a front because it’s SWT but on the inside I know they’re just terrified of not living up to expectations. Everyone’s playing a part in this crazy, K-pop world we live in.
Everyone. With a sigh, I grab the rest of the papers and stack them inside for filing. Once I’m done, I turn to leave the conference room and nearly bump into Producer Sung-Bin.
He grabs me by the shoulders, his hands linger longer than necessary. “I’m so sorry, I was just coming back for my jacket.”
I tilt my head at him and smile as wide as I can, masking all the feelings percolating inside of me. I can’t show the world how I feel. I can’t show how much I’m hurting inside, or how I’m thinking about someone I shouldn’t be thinking about.
“That’s okay, I’m sure it’s over by the chair.”
He grabs my elbow lightly, touching me again, before dropping his hand. “Have you thought about it?”
I quickly look down at my tan heels, eye contact reveals too much, or at least mine does. I’ve been told even though I’m a lawyer, I’m great in the courtroom, great for contracts, but when it comes to things like this, I can’t lie.
I’m just not capable of it when it comes to personal emotion. “I did think about it.”
“Why won’t you look at me?”
I sigh and slowly look up. He has jet black hair, light brown eyes, a small freckle near his bottom lip and a strong chin. He’s also muscular enough not to be too loud about it. He wears his three-piece suit—it doesn’t wear him. He also towers over me at nearly six foot three.