Total pages in book: 154
Estimated words: 148220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 741(@200wpm)___ 593(@250wpm)___ 494(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 741(@200wpm)___ 593(@250wpm)___ 494(@300wpm)
“Don’t take this the wrong way, because I’m not being facetious,” I tell him thickly. “But you need to get help. A therapist or someone.”
He barks out a laugh. “Yeah. So they can sit me down and tell me where my life went to shit? But I already know that one. It was when I fell for all the lies that a girl with a sad smile was telling me.”
My breath hitches painfully. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry.” Teeth gritted, he sits forward. “That’s the only thing you say that sounds true. And I just don’t get you. Papa locked you up. Would have given you to that sick fuck as a prize. Made you play bait and punished you by making you suck my dick. Aren’t you pissed? Don’t you want him dead, too?”
I do. So much. But I want Matt alive more.
I shake my head.
“I see it, you know,” he says gruffly. “All the rage that peeks out. And I think I’d like some of that for myself. Better than rot. Or nothing.”
But it’s not better. Anger’s only gotten me into trouble, like when I went after Tusk. Or made me hate myself, like when I took it out on Stone.
He’s watching me again, reaches forward to cup my jaw, thumb sliding over my trembling lips. “You’re real scared, aren’t you?”
Not for myself, as he seems to think. But scared for Matt. Scared that another plan will go to shit.
“Yes,” I whisper—then gasp as he hauls me forward out of my chair, then sits me on his lap, straddling his heavy thighs.
Heart thundering, I brace my palms on his chest. His big hands are clamped around my waist, his thumbs slowly rubbing circles on my belly. We’re face to face like this, our eyes and mouths on level. And so close.
“How about we start over one more time?” His voice is a low, gravelly rumble. “Not to where I started asking you questions, but all the way back to that tavern, and the moment I turn around to see a girl staring at me. And I stare right back. Because she’s so damn pretty. Even with that ridiculous hair.”
“The wig?” A surprised little laugh shakes through me. “The Iron Blood said I wasn’t sexy enough to lure someone in.”
“Yeah, you were. Especially in that dress that hid absolutely nothing.” His hands coast up my sides, molding the cotton of my shirt to my skin as closely as the dress did. “But that wasn’t what hit me so damn hard. Instead it was the look in your eyes. Like your whole world was pure shit. Like you were searching for a way out, and maybe I was it.”
“That sounds about right,” I whisper past the unbearable ache in my throat.
“Was it? Then you found the right guy. Because I’ve got a few soft spots.”
None that I can feel. Quietly I ask, “What are they?”
“Dogs. Kids. Girls in trouble.” His hands come up to cup my face. “You were obviously in a hell of a mess, and I decided right there to get you out of it. Hopefully while you were riding my dick,” he adds wryly.
Another laugh shakes through me, but I can hear the thick and watery tears that I’m barely holding back beneath it.
“So I’d already decided to help you. Just because of that sad look in your eyes.” His jaw tightens. “Then you start talking to me. And I’m thinking, ‘Fucking hell. I like this girl.’ Because you’re ticking all my boxes. You’re funny, smart, sexy—and while I’m planning to take care of whatever put that look in your eyes, you are taking care of me. Trying to fix me up, make me stop bleeding. So here’s this girl, obviously needing something from me, but not making a big show of what she’s doing. Like she’s a girl who would take care of anyone who needed it. Not because she wants something but because she’s just…kind. And good.”
His face swims in front of mine, my eyes burning. “No,” I whisper brokenly.
“Yes. So when I first saw you, my plan was to help you out. Get you a ride out of town, maybe some money if you needed it. But it wasn’t long before I realized that I’d be an idiot to let this girl go. That maybe I should take her home and clean up whatever trouble she’s in. Because a girl like that—so sexy and sweet and good—I’d do anything in the world to protect her.”
Chest hitching with silent sobs, I shake my head. Because I sensed this then, too. What he was. What could have been.
What can’t be. Not after what I did.
“But you know when I was sure?” His voice deepens, and I go still when I feel the warmth of his breath against my mouth. “When I kissed her. Because she kissed me as if I was all that she wanted, too. As if she’d never met someone like me before. And as if she wanted more of me so fucking bad.”