Total pages in book: 154
Estimated words: 148220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 741(@200wpm)___ 593(@250wpm)___ 494(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148220 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 741(@200wpm)___ 593(@250wpm)___ 494(@300wpm)
“All right, then. Because I love you. I’m absolutely fucking crazy in love with you.” I kiss her fingers, my voice roughening. “But I didn’t say anything before you were hurt because I didn’t figure you’d feel the same way. Not for me. Now that you’ve said it, though, I ain’t ever letting you take it back.”
Her eyes are shining now, partly with tears, partly with a true smile. “Matt might be right, though. It has been an extreme few months for both of us. So when this is all done and I’m just a regular girl again—”
“You think it’s going to fade?”
“Not the way I feel for you,” she says softly. “Because you’ll be the same. So vibrant and alive and such a good man. But me… You said you have a soft spot for damsels in distress. And I’m usually not ever in trouble. Really, I’m not.”
“Yeah, that’s not how it works. Sure, you being vulnerable caught my attention. But what kept my attention, Maxine, and what I fell for is that you were so damn smart and funny and sexy. Is that going to fade? Fuck no.” I drag in a deep breath. “And I’m going to be able to prove it.”
Her brows pull together. “What do you mean?”
“I made a deal with Creek to help him hunt down Papa.” My chest aches so damn bad. “But you’ll be going home with my mom and dad while I’m under.”
“Under?” Her lips part as if in disbelief while her gaze wildly searches my face. “For how long?”
“Until it’s done. Maybe a few months. Maybe a year.”
Her eyes squeeze shut and a little sob hitches through her chest. “Let me come with you.”
“You can’t, angel.”
Her voice breaks again. “But we’re a team.”
“We always will be.” I cup her cheek in my hand, my heart raw. “But right now, your job as part of this team is to rest and to heal, while I take out these Cage fuckers so you’ll always be safe. And our team is going to be just fine. If I’d met you when I was younger, I’d have married you then, too—and likely would have been deployed at some point for the same stretch of time as I’ll be gone now. This is no different than what thousands of husbands and wives go through.”
Except I’ll be leaving when she’s not even healed yet.
Tears slip over her cheeks. “I’m so afraid of losing you now.”
Groaning, I lean in and kiss her trembling lips. “You won’t. I swear to fuck you won’t. All right?”
And this fucking girl, so steady and strong. She’s already steeling herself for it. Wiping her eyes, she nods. “All right.”
“Good.” Though I know this is killing us both. “I’m going to make a few videos for Daisy before I head out. And I’m hoping you’ll do the same for me while I’m gone.”
She gives a teary laugh. “Sexy ones? Might have to be hospital-gown sexy.”
“Nah, girl. Just messages that tell me you’re okay. My club will be protecting you, and I trust them to keep you safe…but it’s not the same as seeing it for myself. So I’ll have Blowback set up an encrypted site where you can send messages from your phone, and he’ll make sure no one but me ever accesses them. And I’ll send messages to you when I can—those will probably be from burner phones that I’ll destroy as soon as I send anything. Those won’t be coming often. Because if anyone starts looking at me real hard, I don’t want to give them a way to find you.”
“Okay,” she whispers, lips trembling, her hands coming up to clasp my face in her hands and drawing me down for a kiss. Even that effort strains her so damn much—and probably hurts her, too, though she’d never say it.
“I miss you already, angel.”
“I miss you, too.” Tears falling, she kisses me again. “Come back to me.”
There’s nothing in this world that could keep me away.
* * *
I don’t go until after she’s asleep again…and then I have to force myself to leave. There’s still a big hole in me, but this time it’s the size of Maxine. I don’t know how all those married fuckers in the military do it. Leaving like this.
Except I do know. Because going means protecting her. It means making sure she’s safe. It means she won’t always be in witness protection, running or hiding. It means she’ll be free. And I’d rip my heart out a million fucking times to make sure she is.
Just wish I wasn’t hurting her, too. But that would mean she didn’t love me…and I can’t wish for that. Because I wouldn’t trade her heart for anything.
I head out, slowing as I see that my sister’s got her arms around a dark-haired woman. Jenny. Anna’s best friend, a girl I’ve known forever, because our families have been close over the years. Though I didn’t expect to see her here. Not considering how she must still be grieving.