Total pages in book: 39
Estimated words: 35349 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 177(@200wpm)___ 141(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 35349 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 177(@200wpm)___ 141(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
But it wasn’t long before the cracks in his façade showed. And I took it for a while, since it felt… familiar, until I understood with shocking clarity that I didn’t have to get stuck in the same pattern of abuse and manipulation I’d been subjected to my whole existence.
So I ran as fast and as far as I could, not giving him a chance to swindle his way back into my life. I might have been weak once but not anymore.
I drained my bank account, packed two bags of clothes and personal items, bought a plane ticket, and somehow found myself on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. God, I had been so ready to disappear into the nothingness and strangeness that a new place offered.
I’d been saving like crazy since I started working, and I had a nice cushion, but still, I penny-pinched and stayed in quaint hostels—at least at first.
Hostels had no frills, with just a bed and the sound of strangers talking softly close by. Yet, there was something oddly comforting about the fact that people who didn’t know who I was, nor my backstory, surrounded me.
It made me feel like I could just… exist.
But at the end of it all, being alone was what I strived for. So, I spent a little more and, at my next stop, rented a little apartment on a quiet street. It overlooked a coffee shop I now frequented every morning.
I let my mind wander back to the present and finished my pastry and coffee.
Sightseeing became my escape. Day in and day out, I wandered through streets that were off the beaten path. In Europe, there was so much history at every turn. It was like there was an ancient story that needed to be told and seen.
And I absorbed it all.
I’d started my trip in Greece, with its crumbling ruins. I went to Italy next, exploring its grand cathedrals, and then landed here, in France. Every eerie little village I passed through on my journey to Paris, I immersed myself in. It was a stark reminder that life had so many more layers than the corroded slice I’d been living in.
And I’d taken my time, soaking it all in. And the longer I stayed here, the more clearly I knew I didn’t want to leave.
I should have made this an open-ended trip instead of just the one-month time frame I’d set for myself.
This trip had started with me running, but I wasn’t anymore. I was living.
For the first time in my life, I had control over… everything.
2
DOLLY
Istarted off my morning with a croissant and espresso at the little café across from my rental. I planned on leaving the bustling sights and life of Paris at the end of the week to head by train northeast to Amsterdam, and then south, until I ended my one-month trip in Romania where I had a little cottage booked in an isolated village close to the mountains.
I picked that region because, when I’d been researching areas to enjoy my solitude, it stood out for its dense forests that were often remote and difficult to access. I had no idea why I needed to just be alone, but the longer I kept to myself, the more I craved additional time spent that way.
It might have been my plan to make Romania the last country I visited before leaving to go back home, but now, as I finished the last sip of my coffee, the truth hit me like a freight train.
How the hell I'd figure out how to make this work was beyond me, but… it was decided.
I would no longer be going back to the States.
After spending some time at the Louvre, I wandered through the cobblestone streets of Paris, my decision making me feel lighter. The crisp air carried the scent of freshly baked bread from nearby boulangeries. I smiled, as I felt proud for learning a bit of French during my short stay.
Window shopping had become a favorite of mine, and when I finally reached the Seine, I stood in the center of one of its many bridges and just looked out at its vastness.
The sunlight danced on the water’s surface, and it looked like a million crystals decorated the top of it. I pulled out the disposable phone I purchased at the airport and snapped a few photos. Getting rid of my cell before leaving had been the best idea I’d had.
No one being able to contact me had done so much for my mental health, more than I realized until this very second.
A genuine smile formed on my lips as I took a few more pictures, wanting to capture this moment in time. When I tucked my phone back into my bag, I glanced at the Seine once more, then turned and made my way back toward the rental. I took a different way to see new things before heading back to my rental.