Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 97634 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 391(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97634 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 391(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
“I think I should be asking you that question.” I pulled back slightly so I could look at her face. Her long dark hair was piled up in a messy bun, and she was dressed in relaxing lounge clothes.
Her white shirt hung slightly off one shoulder, and her olive skin had a beautiful glow to it. She looked beautiful. She looks happy.
She was the one to shrug now, but she gave me a genuine smile. Knowing she was safe and okay and being taken care of made me feel like this weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Amara might be my older sister, but I worried about her.
“And you’re healing okay?”
She reached down and pulled up the bottom of her shirt. The area where she’d been shot was healing nicely, although she’d have a nasty mark.
“It’s like it never happened,” she whispered, but there was a tightness in her voice. I wrapped my arms around her and was now the one to hold her.
“How is Gio taking everything? The weight of the responsibility of being capo must be crippling.”
I thought about our older brother and how he’d taken on the reins of his new position. “He’s doing his role seamlessly. It’s kind of frightening how well, if I’m being honest.” I chewed on my lower lip. “He was born for the position.”
We were both silent as those words sank in, and I stared off at the closed bedroom door, thinking about how my brother was frighteningly skilled at being a leader. I didn’t know why it shocked me. He’d really been born and bred for this position.
But to see him so effortlessly take control, to watch men around him fall in line with no resistance, scared the hell out of me.
“He’s gone even more now than ever. And Mother is there, but not really. She’s worthless to talk to. Won’t even look in my direction. The staff brings her trays of food, but she barely eats.”
“She needs to talk to someone,” Amara finally said. “She’s been through a lot of trauma.”
I knew Amara was right. I knew I should be more forgiving, but when years go by of your mother watching you get abused and doing nothing, finding any kind of empathy was hard. Really hard, if not impossible. I didn't tell Amara that, though.
“And when Gio comes home, he’s covered in blood with cut and bruises on him.”
“He was Father’s weapon for so long, I don’t know if he can ever stop being brutal in that regard.”
I looked down at my hands and nodded, not knowing if Amara even saw me.
“I think he likes it, Amara. I think he loves the violence.” My voice was whisper-thin, as if I were afraid to even say the words out loud.
She was silent for so long I didn’t know if she’d answer. But then she whispered back, “I think you’re right.” Amara exhaled and made a soft sound in the back of her throat. “We knew he was capable of doing this.”
I said nothing, even though I agreed.
“I hate it. I hate the life we are in.” I shrugged. “It just sucks. Being alone, even though there are people around you.”
“My sweet sorellina.” She hugged me and I leaned against her.
“I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. You’re here now and it’s gonna be incredible. We’re going to have so much fun.”
“I wish Mother wasn’t the way she is. I wish she was better to you… for you. She could’ve been something great to us. My memories of when I was little told me that. But she was lost to us well before Father died.”
I stared down at my hands clasped in my lap.
“You can always come stay with me. I can talk to Gio—”
“No,” I said right away, shaking my head. “You have a life. You’re a newlywed, and I have a life back home. I can’t thrust myself into your happiness because I’m sad and lonely sometimes.”
“Stop,” she said with such firmness that I looked at her in shock. “You are always welcome here. Your happiness is mine. Your unhappiness is mine.” She cupped my cheek. Even though she was only three years older than me, she seemed so much older, so much wiser. “I love you.”
I smiled. “I love you, too, but I mean it. I’m fine where I’m at. I’m just bitching, and you’re the only one I can do it to.”
Amara chuckled softly. “Promise you’ll think about my offer, though? Promise you’ll come live with me if you can’t take it anymore?”
I nodded even though I’d never come to that point.
Finally Amara pushed off the bed, facing me. “I’m thrilled you’re here. I’ve missed you so much. Rest up before dinner. We’re going to just take it easy tonight, but tomorrow we’re going shopping.” Her grin was wide, and I couldn’t help smiling back.