Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 89535 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 448(@200wpm)___ 358(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89535 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 448(@200wpm)___ 358(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
I want to fight.
I want to fuck.
I just want—
Oof. I run into someone and jam my shoulder.
“Motherfucker, watch where you’re—” My eyes meet Kole’s.
He rubs his own shoulder. “Dude, I thought you saw me. Where’s the fire? Practice doesn’t start for another five minutes.”
All that anger building, the tension, that urge to go and fuck shit up, dissipates immediately. What the hell is up with that? “Sorry, did I hurt you?” I step forward, trying to assess any damage I might have caused.
“You’re a wall of muscle. Of course you hurt me.”
“S-sorry,” I stammer.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. I was distracted. Heading to the rink?”
“If I walk with you, will you bodycheck me again?”
“No. You’re safe.”
“Good.”
But when we reach the locker room, West is there because, well, duh, he is the assistant coach, and as soon as he sees me, he knows something’s wrong. Or, he’s assuming there is because for the last year or so, he’s always on us about our feelings and trying to fix what he can’t.
He’s at my side in an instant. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell that to my shoulder,” Kole mumbles.
“What?” West asks.
I sigh. “It’s one of my professors, okay? I’m failing math already, and he wants me to drop it, even though Rhys spent nearly all of Sunday afternoon showing me how to do the equations, and I thought I understood it, but apparently, I don’t.”
“Who’s your professor?” West growls.
“Why? You can’t storm in there and do the commanding big-brother thing. It won’t work. The guy hates jocks and sports and anyone who has to do with either.”
“Oh, you got Eckstein?” Kole asks. “Damn.”
The fact Kole knows off the top of his head says everything I already suspected.
“I don’t think I’m acing the class—I know I suck—but he’s unwilling to give me any leeway. I’m putting in the work. I’ll do extra credit. But he won’t hear any of it.”
“Right,” West says. “Eckstein. I’ll be right back.”
I look Kole in the eyes. “You have no idea what you’ve just done.”
“Hmm, I might have gotten your big brother to talk to your professor for you.”
“I hate when he does that. He always feels like he needs to get involved, and it pisses me the hell off.”
“Can you blame him when you no doubt grunted at Eckstein and told him to fuck off?”
A year ago, that’s exactly what I would’ve done.
“I showed restraint, thank you very much. But yes, I wanted to tell him to fuck off. And there might have been some grunting. Why can’t West trust me to handle my own shit occasionally?”
“I can help you with math too if you like? It’s not my best subject, but I got a B when I took his class.”
I laugh. “If a B is the worst you’ve ever received, I don’t think we can be friends anymore. Can you take all my tests for me?”
“That’s called cheating.”
“Fine. If we’re going to do this study thing, maybe we should go to the library for the study part and then—” I glance around the filling locker room and lower my voice. “—find somewhere to hook up. Somewhere without second-story windows or hormonal teens and preteens.”
Kole nods. “We need to prioritize, I agree.”
“Okay, library?” I ask.
“Tonight?”
“Yeah, is after practice fine? Tomorrow’s the last day to drop the class, and if you tell me there’s no hope, then maybe I should do it. At least I’ll get to stay on the team then, even if it means a busier schedule next semester when I have to pick up an extra class.”
Kole touches my arm. “I’ll teach you. It will be okay.”
Will it though?
I’m starting to think this whole college education thing is a waste of time. But without it, I’ll no longer have hockey.
I can’t leave West and the kids yet. Not until they’re all a bit older.
To play the game I love, I have to do something I hate.
That’s just another shitty reality in life.
Love is never easy.
16
Kole
I purposely don’t sit next to Asher on the bus to his next away game, because I don’t trust myself to keep my hands off. After how close we came to being caught by Dad, we need to play it a little smarter if we’re going to keep things under wraps.
Studying all week has been painful. Do you know how hard it is to use your brain when it isn’t getting enough blood flow?
After convincing Asher he knows enough of the material to pass Eckstein’s class the other night after practice, the exchanged blowjobs in the back of Asher’s car were nowhere near satisfying enough.
I glance behind me at the same moment Asher looks up from his phone, and the second our eyes meet, heat bursts through me.
Yep. Actual burning up my cheeks I can’t wait to be alone type of heat. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from making a noise.