Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 95559 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95559 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
“Can I come in?” he asks quietly. I pause for a second or two before nodding, giving him my consent to enter the only private sanctuary I have. He stands awkwardly, his hand gripping the back of his neck as he looks around before settling his eyes back on mine. The tension between us is palpable, and I know he feels it as much as I do. It makes the silence all the more uncomfortable.
“So, um,” he continues when it becomes clear I’m not going to start the conversation. He came to me. He needs to say whatever he needs to say. “I picked Millie for Secret Santa, and I’ve no clue what to get her. So, I was kinda wondering if you could help me? Give me some ideas or something?”
Without looking up from my paper, I huff a little before responding. “Did you not get the memo about the Secret Santa rules. You’re not supposed to discuss it with anyone.”
“Sounds like Fight Club.”
This time I look up sharply and meet his eyes. “You would know.”
Kyler sighs and shakes his head slightly. “I guess I deserved that.” He pauses, waiting for a response. When I don’t offer one, he continues. “Look, Thea, please can we talk about what you saw at Thanksgiving.”
I gather all the papers on my bed and put them back in my folder. It’s clear I’m not going to get any more studying done today, not when Kyler’s about to discuss the elephant currently making its presence known in the room.
“There’s nothing to talk about. I went home, and you did your thing. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“I do, though, because it’s obvious you’re pissed at me.” Ky takes a seat on my floor, leaning his back against the wall opposite my bed. I’m grateful he’s put a safe distance between us. I don’t think I’d be able to hold my resolve if he was any closer. Me and him are a bad idea. Me and him won’t work. It’s best he tells me he’s found someone, and I can move on from whatever it is between us.
“Nothing happened,” he continues, “with that woman, I swear. I mean, yeah, she spent the night, but I was so drunk. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep the moment I hit the bed. But we didn’t have sex.”
“But you wanted to,” I argue. “Why else would you bring her home?”
“Because I was so mad at you, Thea!” His words cut deep, like slivers of sharp glass pressing against my skin. He takes a deep breath as he proceeds. “I saw the photos Jude put on his social media. The ones of your Thanksgiving dinner? You and Adam looked all cozy sitting together with his arm around you, and I couldn’t stand it. After our night together and what I told you, I just couldn’t understand how you could be with him like nothing happened. It crucified me just knowing you and he were together, and I was here fucking missing you like crazy. So, I reacted. I went to The Crease and got drunk. And before long, I found myself talking with this girl. She was in the same boat as me, as she’d just found out her husband was fucking her sister behind her back. Or maybe it’s not the same boat, because I’m not fucking anyone, but still. We shared our sob stories, and because I was so wasted, she helped me get home. It was late, I was a shitty host, and she made sure I was okay and didn’t choke to death on my own vomit.”
Kyler pauses as he gets his breath back after his monologue, rubbing his hands down his face as I try and process all the information he’s just offloaded.
“What you saw was her leaving my room after she slept on the floor. Yeah, I’m a shit and took the bed. That’s why her clothes were all wrinkled. And me changing my shirt? The one I wore to bed had drool and maybe a little bit of sick on it. I’m not proud of myself, Thea, but that’s all, I swear it. When I saw you standing there, my heart cracked into a million fucking pieces. I knew I had disappointed you. I could see it in your eyes. But what could I do? Jude was right there, and I couldn’t have run after you without him guessing something is going on. So, I took the cowardly option and showed my guest out. I regret my actions that night so much. I’m sorry you saw what you saw. But I’m not sorry for being mad and reacting. I’m not, Thea.”
This time it’s my turn to take a deep breath, put on my big-girl pants and come clean to Kyler. I’ve not exactly been forthcoming about my current relationship status, and I can understand how seeing what he saw would upset him, especially as he was the one who told me about Adam’s infidelity.