Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 73940 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73940 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Shit, shit, shit.
Maybe I shouldn’t say anything?
He cocked his head, his expression turning more serious. “So? What is it?”
I could wave it off. I could say I was joking. I could kiss him and have him forget all about what I said.
“It’s about the Beacon Bay project.”
He blinked a couple of times and seemed to try to process my words. “Ooookay… what about it?”
“I’ve been holding something back from you. Please, don’t get upset. But, well, my dad is involved. He told me today that news will be public in twenty-four hours. I’m so sorry, Jay. I seriously am.”
His head dropped forward, his brows furrowed together. “Hold up, seriously? Because I think maybe an STI would have been more preferable. At least there’s antibiotics for that. But this? Seriously?”
“I’m sorry, Jay.”
“When did you know?”
“A few weeks ago.”
He put a hand on his face and laughed. “So you’ve been lying to me, then?”
“No, no, I never lied. I would never lie to you, Jay.”
“But you asked me out, knowing your dad was involved in one of the most environmentally destructive projects to hit the West Coast in decades? You manipulated me.”
“That’s not it at all. I fell for you before my dad was ever in the project. I fell for you that night I saw you at the party. You lit up my world. Made me see color when it was all just shades of gray.”
There was a spark in his gaze that was quickly doused with a glossy sheen. “I feel… I feel betrayed.”
“I’d never betray you. On my life. You know that.”
“I want to know that.”
“Then trust me.”
Jay swallowed. He shook his head. “This is a lot. This is really a lot right now.”
I could see this beginning to spiral. It’s exactly what I didn’t want to happen.
“It’s ok, let’s lay down. We can talk about this,” I said, trying to defuse the situation.
“I think I need some fresh air.”
“Before that, I want you to know that the Beacon Bay project is what caused me and my dad to fight. I told him straight up I wanted it shut down.”
Jay took a breath. He never appeared this distant, not even in the beginning when he tried to keep me away. “How do I even know you’re telling me the truth?” he asked.
“Because I am.” I reached for him, but he took his hand away. He might as well have slapped me. He got off the bed and put on shorts and a shirt. “I swear, Jay, I stood up to my dad and asked him to back out of the project.”
Jay turned. There wasn’t anger in his expression, like I expected. It was more of a hurt, in the way his eyebrows dipped and head slowly shook from side-to-side.
“I swear.”
“And… I believe that, Ryan. But damn it. Why couldn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Because I was scared of exactly this happening.”
“I wish you had more trust in me than that.” Jay grabbed his keys and wallet off the desk.
“I did and I do. It was more of a me problem that I didn’t tell you.”
Jay rubbed his face. “I need to go for a walk.”
“Wait, can I go with you?” I moved to stand, but he shook his head.
“No. No… I’m sorry. I need some space right now. I’m just feeling really anxious right now and I know one thing that helps me is walking.”
“I totally understand. At least text me where you’re going. It’s late.”
Jay paused. He took the tiniest step forward. Was he about to jump back into bed? Could we get back to how we were only ten minutes ago?
“I’ll text you.”
I collapsed back onto the bed. Fuck. I really messed this up. Exactly what I was scared of happening.
Fuuuuuuuck.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jay
My head spun in a thousand different directions.
He lied to me. He fought with his dad. He knew and didn’t tell me. He could have fought harder. He could have told me sooner.
I could have forgiven him.
And yet all I could think about was my dad. About how upset he’d be. It’s the only real reason why I overreacted.
Disappointment. Hurt. Pain.
I miss you. So, so much, Dad.
I had to stop outside our dorm and lean against the wall. Tears pricked at my eyes. My stomach made multiple flips, my head feeling light. Why was this happening? Things were going so perfectly between us. I’d never found someone I fit so well with. It was like two opposing magnets snapping together, unable to be split apart.
Until the truth came out and the magnets flung to opposite ends of the room.
I rubbed my face and looked up at the clear night sky. It was quiet on campus, enough light pollution to block out most of the stars.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out, expecting to see Ryan’s name but surprised to see Maddy instead.