Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 129912 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129912 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
I walk back out and round the house. As I do, the scent of bloom runs past my nose. The garden comes into view, bursting with gold Vanorian blossoms and tall grass. Butterflies flutter about before settling on gilded petals.
Just ahead, tucked beneath an overgrown tree, is Caz. His back is to me as he sits on a log, his elbows on his thighs and the bloom I smelled pinched between his thumb and index finger.
“You took your time,” he says as I approach.
“Yeah, well, I figured you needed it.” I swing my leg over the log to straddle it. That’s when I notice the block of silver on the other side of him. Panic swells in my chest.
He steals a glance at me as I stare at the gun, and when he realizes where my head has gone, the skin on his forehead crumples.
“You weren’t about to use that on yourself, were you?”
“No, Willow.” His voice is firm. “I wouldn’t do that to you. Not ever.”
Calm rinses over me as he looks into my eyes, revealing his truth. He pulls from his bloom once more before stamping it out and flicking it away.
With his last exhale of smoke drifting the opposite direction of me, his brows furrow and his shoulders droop.
I reach for his hand and wrap it in mine. “I can feel you, Caz.”
“I know.”
“You’re blaming yourself for something you had to do.”
“Doesn’t make it any less shitty.”
“I’ve already talked to Danica and yes, she’s pissed, but she gets it. She said she would’ve done the same if she were in your shoes. And Alora, she may be upset now, but she’ll know you were only trying to keep the people you love safe. Alora is a forgiving person. She’ll get over it when you apologize. And I’m sure Valden will too.”
He says nothing to that, nor does he look at me. Instead, his head hangs with shame.
I reach for his chin with my other hand, and those crystal eyes of his latch with mine.
“She’ll forgive you,” I tell him.
“Not right away.”
“Maybe not, but Hassha says she’s still taking part in the war. That counts for something.”
His throat bobs, eyes falling to my lips. “It’s not Alora I’m this upset about.”
“Conan?”
He doesn’t have to answer for me to know it. I can tell by the way his head falls again and his lashes fan the apples of his cheeks.
“He betrayed you, Caz. You hardly knew anything about him.”
“He said he had a wife and a daughter,” he murmurs. “They died in a fire, and he couldn’t save them. Selah promised to bring them back if he joined her in the war.”
“And he believed that?” I scoff.
“I don’t know when she came to him. He said she was in his head, his dreams. Could’ve been before Hassha and Korah protected all the territories.” A pained look spreads over his face. “He was a good man, and it fucks with me because I don’t kill good people. He was smart but he was also scared, and he had every right to be.”
I nod, unsure what to say.
“But that’s not what bothers me most,” he continues. “What bothers me is that if I were in his shoes, I would’ve done the same thing.” His eyes lock on mine, unwavering. “If I had to choose between fighting in a war or turning over the one man Selah wants most in exchange for safety and happiness, I’d have done the same as he did. In fact, I’d have done worse if it meant there was a way I could protect my family.”
The croaking frogs and chirping birds fill the silence.
“I understand why this bothers you.” I slide closer and cradle his face in both my hands. “But if you hadn’t done it, we’d all be dead. I didn’t know Conan, but I know you, Caz. You don’t kill good people, but just because you did this one time doesn’t make you a bad person. The fact that you feel guilty about this should tell you that.”
“I just…I know what it’s like to want someone back. You’re willing to do whatever it takes to have it, no matter what it costs. Even if it sounds unreal, you’ll chase after it.”
I press my forehead to his. “I know.”
“I can’t talk like this with anyone else but you,” he murmurs.
I tip my chin to kiss him. “I know.”
At that, a gentle chuckle rumbles in his chest.
I take note of the dark marks under his eyes. “Did you sleep at all?”
“Not a wink.”
I sigh. Climbing off the log, I stand in front of him and offer a hand. He takes it and collects his gun before I can haul him away.
We round the cabin, and I lead the way inside. While the door is open, fur rubs across my bare ankles, and Cerberus and Silvera dip inside, claiming the old sofa.