Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 129912 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129912 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
“What do you mean?” I ask, feeling the panic rise again, but just like before, it mellows.
“I mean that all this time, Selah has been working through Decius, and since Decius fed off of Warren, well…I’m afraid his mind is no longer his. He’s been transformed into a creature, and they say there is no saving him. They will have to end his life before matters become worse. If he lives any longer, they’re afraid Selah will become stronger.”
There’s a scream boiling up inside me. I can feel it. It’s clawing at my throat, begging to be unleashed, but I’m forced to swallow it back down.
I drop my eyes to Korah’s hand clasped around mine, and when she slowly releases it, I stare at my feet.
She’s doing this. She’s forcing my emotions aside. Why?
“Do you understand, Willow?” Caz asks with urgency. “Warren is likely dead now. There was nothing they could do to save him.”
My eyes flicker up to his. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Caz frowns, shifting his attention to Korah. “Just okay? Why isn’t she more upset than this?”
“She will be. Just not right now. This will allow her to process so she doesn’t do anything rash.”
Caz shakes his head and takes my hand, pulling me away from Korah. “I don’t like this.” He side-eyes her before palming both sides of my face. “Willow, I’m so sorry about Warren. I really hoped they could save him. I promise you I’ll get his body. We’ll have a proper send off for him. I’m so sorry, baby.”
I blink up at him, and I want to feel. I want to react. I want to cling to him out of desperation and beg him to do something. But I also want to turn to Korah and scream at her.
I hate these Regals.
I hate them for ever creating this world, for getting us involved, for taking my brother away from me.
But I’m emotionless. Despite how hard I try or how much I want to, I simply can’t react.
“I know,” Caz says, having read my thoughts. “I feel the same way.”
“I’ll leave you to it,” Korah says, but we both ignore her, and it takes no time for her to vanish.
Caz takes me back inside to sit on the edge of the bed. “You should try to get some sleep,” he offers.
I obey, laying my head on the pillow. I don’t have it in me to fight…or maybe I do have it in me but still can’t.
“What did she do to me?” I ask when he brings a quilt over my shoulders.
He lowers to a squat next to the bed, stroking my forehead. His eyes line with tears but he blinks them away. A painful expression appears. “She temporarily muted your feelings. They didn’t want the devastation of losing Warren to ruin you.”
“I should be able to feel my brother’s loss,” I tell him. My voice is defeated. Fuck. I can’t even argue? I want to sound angry because I am angry!
“Yeah. You should.”
I look around the room bathed in silvery light and release a hopeless sigh. “I asked for this,” I whisper. “I begged you to contact them so they could help, but instead they…he’s…”
“No, Willow. Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. I know that feeling, and believe me, this is not your fault.”
“It is. I wanted you to contact Hassha. I thought she was good.”
“She tried, Willow. As angry as I am with them, I truly believe they tried.” He plants a kiss on the center of my forehead before laying one on my cheek. “You are not to blame for this. Okay?”
My lack of response is enough for him.
“I don’t want to leave you alone, but I need to run to my office to check something about The Council. I’ll be back.”
I reach up, catching him by the sleeve. He pauses, glancing down at my hand before picking it up and curling one of his around it.
“I can’t feel anything, Caz,” I whisper.
I want to cry for the lack of it. I feel it all bottled inside me, dying to break through like a dam. Instead, there’s only a tear. One single tear that slips over the bridge of my nose.
“I’m so sorry, Willow.” He swipes the tear away. “I never wanted this to happen.”
I close my eyes. Then something soft and furry rubs across my hand. When I open my eyes again, I see Silvera. She whimpers as she runs her muzzle across my arm. Then she jumps onto the bed and forces her large body under one of my arms. I cling to her, burying my cheek into her side.
It’s you and me, my little ruby. Caz leans down and kisses my lips. I promise I’ll do everything I can to make this right.
I want to believe him, I do, but knowing my twin is gone…how am I supposed to live with that? I’d spent so much time searching for him, and it turned out he was lost in this world—a world that will chew you up and swallow you simply for existing.