Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83519 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83519 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
I no longer sense him near.
He’s freed me.
I knew it would happen when I spoke the safe word, and I can’t really take it back now.
I’m weaker than I’ve ever been as I climb out of the bed and make my way to the shower.
Bathing takes forever, but despite being more tired than I’ve ever been in my life, I force myself to dry off before digging through his closet for something to wear.
I have no plans, no direction, no safety net, as I scrounge around in the kitchen and pack some food and water into a bag I found in his bedroom closet.
I don’t leave a note.
This isn’t a goodbye, see you later.
This is forever.
El Salvador ensures it.
His truck is gone when I step out onto the porch, fighting the urge to call Cerberus. I don’t know that they’d even help if I begged. I wore out that welcome long ago, but I also don’t want to risk any chance of them going after Angel.
I shouldn’t feel the urge to protect him, but somehow I do.
I can’t stay even though deep down I know that’s what I want. I’m not allowed a reprieve from my pain. My dreams remind me of that constantly.
If only I were as brave as Liana.
Chapter 31
Angel
There’s only so many times you can watch the same thing before your mind alters the outcome. Or maybe it’s hope that switches things around.
I’ve seen Lauren leave my house a million times in the last several days.
I’ve watched her stumble on the last step of the front porch and walk off the property without looking back.
But as I rewind the video again, I see her look back, watch her eyes as if she’s standing in front of me, begging me to stop her.
Then the glitch and she’s walking away again.
Over and over, I watch to find that one time she pauses, and I never find it.
My mind made it up. My head is trying to convince me to go after her, to find her, to catch her and tell her I was joking and that untying her was all part of my game.
It wasn’t at the time. She said the words I never thought I’d hear, and I had to hold up my end of the bargain. I gave her that out the first night, and I would’ve bet everything I own that she’d never speak it. Not that she didn’t want to but because she was too damned stubborn for her own good.
I never imagined a fucking nightmare would make her end things, that it would be something in her head rather than the violence in mine that would be the final straw.
I underestimated the pain she’s lived with since childhood.
It’s so fucking stupid of me because I know the power that shit carries.
I scour the video feed for her return. I look into every alert. Even the half second movement ones, knowing it’s going to be a fucking bug or a bird because the alert would’ve been longer if it were her.
Each search is fruitless.
I left the house after cutting her loose because I knew I wouldn’t be able to watch her leave in person. She has no cell phone. I couldn’t follow her any further than the edge of my property.
She’s gone.
I think of the scars she’ll have, a constant reminder of our time together.
I think of her empty belly because I didn’t get the chance to fuck her after cutting her birth control implant from under her skin.
I don’t fucking know how I feel about it.
Knowing Lauren, she’d never go through with a pregnancy anyway. She wouldn’t want anything slowing down her destruction. Having to care for anyone else would contradict just how fucking selfish she is. It would never happen.
The thought of her killing my hypothetical baby makes me see red. It makes me want to track her down, which only makes me feel completely impotent, because I purposely let her leave without being able to find her.
If she wants to be here, she would’ve had to stay or will have to come back on her own.
I grin as I look over at my safe. I have insurance of course. I don’t trust that she won’t get herself killed before coming back, but I know she will.
Waiting for it to happen sucks. That’s why I scheduled a purchase in Tamaulipas for later this evening. I’ll go, get paid, and be back before midnight. With any luck, she’ll be waiting here for me when I return.
***
People don’t change overnight.
It’s very damn seldom that something happens and people see some light that makes them change their ways.
Habits are incredibly hard to break.
Someone on the outside looking in would probably be disgusted to see me sitting in my truck, waiting for the man to show up with my latest purchase.