Total pages in book: 158
Estimated words: 145729 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145729 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
“I see.” She drew her legs in tighter against her body. “I don’t like that you’re in danger, Joshua.”
His heart clenched hard in his chest. She wasn’t upset about what he had to do. She was worried about his safety. There wasn’t going to be a bullshit argument about how wrong it was, which he was happy about. The things he’d seen were enough to convince him that some monsters didn’t belong in the world. But then, she’d seen her father tortured and killed; maybe she already understood that concept.
“I thought I’d spend my life in Borneo.” His chest hurt. He had to push rage down, rage he could never quite get rid of, no matter how far he traveled or how much he learned about meditation. It was a part of him that he kept separate, compartmentalized, until he had to face it. It was rare for him to allow it to be seen, but he was going to ask a lot of Sonia, the least he could do was show her who and what he truly was and how he got to be where he was.
“I traveled to other rain forests and wherever work took me, I looked for my mate, but I always thought I’d settle permanently where my mother had taken me.” He shifted his weight, turned, so that he was sitting close to her. Very close. Thighs touching. He caught her hand and pressed her palm against his thigh, needing her touch.
As if she could read him, she shifted closer until she could brush her fingers through his hair with her free hand, her fingers working magic as they massaged his scalp. He loved when she did that – and she did it often.
“We got word that a new group was working in our area. They were a small band of men, very elusive and able to navigate through the rain forest where others couldn’t. Drake sent me to track them. I’d been on their trail for three days. There were five of them, all younger men. I could tell by the way they moved. Fast. Efficient. They knew the forest, and I began to suspect that they were leopard. I knew all the leopards there and I should have been able to identify them, but I didn’t have a clue who they were.”
He fell silent, his gut churning. “I was slow. A day or so behind them.” He shook his head, cursing, trying to find calm when the raging storm was on him once again. He rubbed his jaw, feeling the day-old growth. Back then, the stubble had been growing into a full-fledged beard. He let himself concentrate on her fingers, the way they moved almost hypnotically through his hair. She remained silent, but her gaze never once left his face.
“They raided a small village and took three girls, the daughters of a wealthy family. They were really young. Six, seven and nine.” He shook his head and let go of her hand. He needed to move, but he didn’t want to pull away from the fingers massaging his scalp so gently. She was his lifeline. His anchor. So delicate, those fingers, conveying her love. He felt it surrounding him.
“They’d set fire to several houses, and the village was in chaos when I arrived. They hadn’t asked for ransom and that alarmed me. Why destroy the village when all you were after was money? They weren’t staying true to the form of extortionists. Even if they planned on killing the girls later, they would still ask for money.”
He took a breath, inhaling the scent of smoke. That terrible smell that never quite left him. Bile rose. “I found them two days later, two fucking days. Those girls were so traumatized they were catatonic by the time I got there. It hadn’t mattered to the five of those bastards. They kept using them in every way possible. Sick, vile pieces of shit.” He turned his face away from her, feeling tears burning behind his eyes. He couldn’t face seeing that again, what those men had done. What leopards and humans were capable of. What he was capable of.
“I killed them all. The five of them. They died hard, and I fucking burned them and then buried their ashes so deep no one will ever find them. The girls were… damaged. If I’d found them sooner…” He trailed off, shaking his head. He would never forgive himself for not catching up with those men. Not ever. He would remember the first glimpse of the camp and what the men were doing to those little girls for the rest of his life. He still had nightmares.
“Once, a good friend of mine told me I didn’t have a killer’s instinct and I’d always have the disadvantage in a fight. I wish that was the truth, but I learned that night just what’s inside me. A monster came out. I had no idea I was capable of anything like that. I didn’t want to kill them clean. I wanted them to suffer the way those girls had suffered.”