Total pages in book: 158
Estimated words: 145729 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145729 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
She shrugged. Joshua was casual about nudity. He didn’t seem to notice, but she was still very aware of her body and the differences between them. Not just the obvious ones, him being all male and her female, but the fact that he had the hardest body she’d ever seen. He was totally fit. She had muscles, but she looked soft and she knew it.
“Baby, a shrug doesn’t tell me jack. If you’re worried, don’t be. I’ll go with the boys in the morning and we’ll pay him a visit.”
Her breath caught in her throat. What if he was a hit man for the Bogomolov family? She wanted to cry. This wasn’t fair to Joshua. She either had to end their relationship or tell him the truth. There was no middle ground. She told herself she didn’t know what to do – but she did. If she told him the truth, he would get all chivalrous and white knight on her and go after them. He’d get killed. She had to end their relationship. Just not now. Not tonight. She deserved one more night with him.
She stepped into the shower with him. She couldn’t help being nervous. She’d never showered with Sasha. It felt very intimate, but also something committed couples might do together. The shower was enormous, with two heads spraying overhead and four coming from the sides.
“Are you going to talk to me, Sonia?” Joshua asked.
His voice turned her heart over. So gentle. Almost tender. He made tears burn behind her eyes and a million butterflies take wing in her stomach as he took the gel from her and lightly rubbed it over her body.
She couldn’t look at him. She didn’t dare. He was too good at reading her expressions. She placed both hands on the wall and leaned there, letting him soap her skin. He was thorough, exquisitely gentle, careful of the small laceration on her thigh. The hot water felt good and she closed her eyes, giving herself up to the sensation.
There were a million arguments running around in her brain – things she needed to say to him. She should tell him the truth, that if the Russians knew she was alive, she’d never stop running. She wasn’t good for him, he could get killed getting involved with her. The problem with telling him was simple. He’d try to get rid of the threat to her and get himself killed. It didn’t matter that he worked for Drake Donovan, Nikita would find a way to kill her. Sasha, out of pride, would kill Joshua. He’d probably make her watch. The arguments ran over and over in her mind, a terrible loop she couldn’t seem to stop.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” He ran his hand down her hair. When he got to the ends, he tugged hard enough to pull her head back.
Her eyes met his. She realized it wasn’t the water from the shower that was causing blurry vision. She shook her head and attempted a smile. “I’m good. Just maybe a little tired. The leopards covered a lot of territory tonight.”
“You’re crying, Sonia.” He began rinsing her body. Again, he was very thorough, making certain that every inch of her was gel-free, using the handheld to pour hot water over and onto her. She was grateful for the luxury of hot water on sore muscles.
“Damn it, baby, you have to start talking to me. I can’t fix something if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“You are.” She blurted it out, pressing her forehead hard into the shower wall, closing her eyes tight. “You are, Joshua.” Now her voice was a whisper, squeezing through the lump in her throat, coming out strangled. “You’re so good to me. You’re so right. I never thought I’d meet someone like you. I didn’t even know men like you existed.”
He was silent for a long time, just using his hands in her hair, massaging her scalp until she wanted to melt into a little puddle at his feet. He was the one to turn off the shower and wrap her in a large, oversized towel. “I’m not, you know, what you think. You know I’m not. A woman like you deserves to be put on a pedestal, not have a man who gets hot thinking about watching her blow him. I’m fuckin’ going to hell for the things I want to do to you.”
Her gaze jumped to his face. There was far too much speculation and condemnation in his voice. No remorse, she noticed. She didn’t want him to feel either of those things. “If I didn’t love the things you do to me, you wouldn’t be doing them,” she said decisively. “I can’t imagine a man more perfect than you.”
“Finish it, Sonia. For you. I’m perfect for you. You keep leaving that part out. I’m not a perfect man. I’m not ‘right.’ I’m right for you and I’m perfect for you. No one else.”