Total pages in book: 158
Estimated words: 145729 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145729 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
He groaned and rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling. She immediately shifted to her side, turning toward him, drawing her knees up. She was close to him, and he noticed the little shiver running through her body. He pulled up the sheet to cover her.
“You need a blanket, baby?”
She shook her head. “I’m good. What do you need to tell me?”
He knew it was going to be rough. He hated this. Hated what it was going to do to her. His revelations had the ability to destroy her. It certainly had every potential to destroy them – their relationship. It was already fragile. For a moment, he considered stalling another day, but every minute meant the danger to her increased.
“I need you to listen to me. All of it. Everything I have to say before you jump to conclusions or react. I want you to promise me.”
She frowned, propping her head up on one hand, elbow to the bed. “Now you have me worried. How can I give you a promise when I don’t know what you’re going to say?”
“Baby, I know trust is difficult to give. I understand why. I do. You’re safe with me. I’m that man for you, the one that would do anything for you. You keep that in mind and we’re going to be fine.”
She sat up slowly, pulling the sheets over her breasts. It was the first time she’d covered up deliberately and he knew the sheet was armor for her. She put her back to the headboard and drew up her knees, her gaze steady on his face.
He sat up as well. He needed mobility. She was feeling vulnerable, he could see that on her expressive face. Her leopard was capable of huge leaps. He didn’t want her getting out of the bedroom before he could finish his explanation.
“Joshua?” Her eyes told him she was beginning to panic. “Just tell me.”
“I have to go way back, baby. Remember I told you about my mother taking me to Borneo and growing up there? I met Drake Donovan. He was a huge influence in my life. When my mother died, he befriended me and gave me a purpose. It was Drake teaching me how to be faster and stronger, how to fight as both a leopard and a man. He gave me the edge to stay alive when I was working.”
Some of the panic faded from her eyes and she took a deep breath and let it out, nodding her head for him to continue.
“After she died, I worked a lot for Drake. I can’t tell you how many missions I went out on, but there were a lot of them. Most were relatively simple. I collected information, or made a drop. Most of the kidnappings of tourists or wealthy families living there were fairly straightforward. It was a business, and Donovan Security delivered the ransom and retrieved the victims.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose, watching her carefully. The tension had drained out of her while he talked, and she rested her chin on her knees, her gaze on his face.
“I like hearing about your life.”
“It isn’t all pretty, baby,” he warned. “I haven’t always made the best choices.”
“No one always makes the best choices. Look at me. My life has been a disaster, thanks to my choices.”
He didn’t want to touch that one, not with having to tell her why Nikita Bogomolov had been in his home. He sighed and ran both hands through his hair. “Some of the jobs weren’t quite that easy. Certain cells kidnapped victims but had no real intention of returning them. We had to go in and take them back. It could get dicey.”
She frowned at him. “Joshua, are you worried about telling me the things you had to do to get these people back home safe?”
“They didn’t always get back home safe. Sometimes they were killed before we could reach them. There were firefights. I’m not going to lie to you, baby. I did what I was trained for. I kill people. I go in and execute them when I’m ordered to do so.” He pressed his fingers to his eyes, fighting back the sounds of gunfire, the smell of blood and death.
Her tongue touched her lip and she swallowed. Nodded. “You said ‘kill’ as in present tense. I thought, because you’re here, that you head up a team, you don’t actually participate anymore.”
His gaze shifted from hers. He shook his head. It was much harder than he’d thought it was going to be. His life was a tangled web of deception. Sorting it out for her was difficult enough without having to tell her the entire mess he was in – the mess of his own choosing.
“I’ve gone on three out-of-the-country missions since I’ve been in the United States,” he admitted. “I worked security for Jake Bannaconni before I came here. During my stint with him, I volunteered to go. None of the three were easy, meaning we had to kill the kidnappers to take back the victims.”