Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 106292 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 531(@200wpm)___ 425(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106292 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 531(@200wpm)___ 425(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
He holds his hand out to me, and horror blasts through my chest as I find a familiar piece of paper resting in the palm of his hand. I close my eyes, allowing the fear to sail right through my body before letting out a shaky breath and reaching for my father’s note.
I don’t say a word. I don’t think I need to. It’s clear he knows.
Zade isn’t looking for a confession out of me. He’s testing my loyalty.
“You should have come to me with this,” he tells me, not daring to meet my eye, both of us staring toward the window. “The second you knew, you should have told me.”
I scoff, shaking my head. “So you could murder the only real family I have? So you could take him away from me again, just like your father did all those years ago? Hell no, Zade. You’re fucked in the head if you truly think I would have ever come to you with this. I might be sleeping in your bed every damn night, curled in your arms, and falling for every last one of you, but don’t mistake that for loyalty. I am not on your side.”
He leans forward onto his knees again, letting out a long, shallow breath as he lets my words really sink in. But as my gaze rests on his reflection in the window, I see nothing but deep conflict in his eyes, and realize he’s just as messed up over this as I am. His whole life, it’s been instilled in him to always remain loyal to his cause and his people, and lately, all of that has been coming into question. It clearly doesn’t sit well with him.
There’s no doubt in my mind that he still plans to follow through with the ritual—no matter what parts of his soul he has to sacrifice. But if there’s a chance there might be a small part of him that doesn’t want to do this, just a little piece of humanity left inside his heart, then I’m going to find and exploit it to save my ass. Even if it means falling in love with my monster.
Desperately needing him to hold onto this, I push the sheets back and clamber across the bed before climbing over his lap and straddling him, both of us slightly awkward with the intimacy of it, but he knows this is nothing sexual.
Unable to help himself, his hands fall to my waist, and he meets my eyes, waiting to hear what I have to say. “Look,” I murmur, the silence beginning to weigh me down. “There’s no denying that you’re going to make an incredible leader, despite how much you still have to learn about yourself. And God, I wish there were some way for you to figure out how to have everything you’ve ever wanted without having to take my life in the process. But when it comes to having to choose between your future or mine, I’ll pick me every damn time. If having the future you’ve dreamed of your whole life means that I have to forfeit mine, I’m not ready to die.”
He lets out a heavy breath, his hand coming up and curling around the back of my neck, his thumb stretching across my jaw. “Believe me, Lamb,” he murmurs, his tone thick and raw. “If I could have it all, I would.”
A tear falls down my cheek, and I hate myself for being so weak and broken. “Are you going to kill my father?”
“Yes,” he tells me, not sugarcoating it or gloating, just giving me the cold, hard facts out of sheer respect. “However, his death is not of importance to me right now. I don’t know how many of Empire’s members are aware of who he is, but that doesn’t matter. He’s locked in a cell, and until he figures out a way to break out of there, he is no threat to me. So, yes, I will eventually kill him, but I will not make you live through the pain of losing your father again.”
I drop my forehead to his, my arm looping around his neck. “Are you angry with me?”
“I was,” he says. “You’ve messed with my head. I don’t like that you want to get away from me, but I understand why. If I were in your position, I’d be trying to run too. Though you were foolish to try and save your father first. The blind cannot lead the blind. In order to free someone, you must first know how to free yourself.”
“Shit, Zade,” I breathe, a soft smile kicking up the corner of my lips. “That was way too deep for two in the morning.”
“Just giving it to you straight.”
A heaviness rests on my shoulders, and I give him another small smile before climbing back into bed and pulling the sheets up to my shoulders. Zade gets up and moves around to his side of the bed, and my gaze follows him as he peels up his shirt, shrugs out of it, and drops it to the ground, putting that magnificent body on display. But the heaviness is too much, and I can’t even take a moment to appreciate it.