Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 98023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry.”
I can’t even look at her. It’s too fucking painful.
All I can do is turn on my heel and walk right back through her door, slamming it behind me. I lick my lips and clench my fists, fighting the urge to punch several holes in the wall of her hall on the way out and bang into the stairwell instead. I jog down the stairs, dropping shattered pieces of my heart on each and every level.
Move on from Lexi Winslow? Fucking impossible.
Saturday, August 23rd
Lexi
“I’d like to propose a toast to the smartest girl in the family,” Uncle Jude says, lifting his glass of champagne in the air with a big smile. “Lexi, I know everyone in this room is incredibly proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. And we’re all kind of hoping you’re going to carry the torch for the Winslow family and finally prove to the world that we’re not a bunch of idiots.”
“Jude!” my grandma Wendy chastises, but she also laughs, along with everyone else in the room.
My mom is rolling her eyes at her youngest brother, and my stepdad Wes is pretty much doing the same, though his face is filled with far less annoyance. And I take the time to look around the room, savoring all the faces smiling in my direction of some of the most important people in my life, all gathered here in my grandma’s brownstone to celebrate my big milestone of defending my final dissertation of my doctoral career.
I’m officially done with college, and while I feel excited, I also feel a growing sense of anxiety about all the life changes coming my way.
My schedule is going to be different. My life will be different. I’ll no longer be spending most of my days at my favorite Dickson lab, but instead, living in the fast lane of adulthood in the real world.
My uncle Remy walks over to give me a big hug, and my aunt Maria does the same. Both telling me how proud they are of me and offering big congratulations on all that I’ve achieved. And they start a sort of assembly line of family and friends doing much of the same.
My grandma and Howard. My other uncles Flynn and Ty and their wives. My mom and stepdad Wes and brother Wes Jr. My dad Nick and my stepmom Charlotte. My parents’ best friends, Thatch and Cassie and Kline and Georgia. All of my cousins—Hawk, Meadow, Emily, Izzy, Carmen, Roman, and Ryder. Even Ace and Julia—and their respective brother and sister—and Finn and Scottie are here, along with Finn’s mom Helen and his siblings Reece, Travis, Jack, and Willow.
The house is packed fuller than a can of sardines, everyone basically having to climb over one another in the dining room to get to me, but they all manage to give me big hugs and heartfelt wishes as I prepare to take my next big life journey.
It’s clear I’ve never been an emotional kind of girl, but something about this moment is urging this strange combination of happiness and something akin to melancholy. The happiness makes complete sense, but the glum shadow is something I don’t quite understand.
“So, Lex,” Ace asks with a big smile. “What’s the next big move?”
“Big move?” I question. “As in, where am I going to live?”
“No.” He chuckles. “Where does a big-brained girl like Lexi end up working?”
“Yeah, Lex.” Uncle Remy joins in. “Have you decided what you’re going to do?”
Truthfully, no. I have options. Lots of options that most men and women my age would quite literally sacrifice a lot of things to obtain. But I still haven’t decided what I want to do.
I shrug. “I’m still mulling it all over.”
“As in, my sister has created an exhaustive spreadsheet of pros and cons and statistical analysis of each job choice,” my brother chimes in with a sarcastic grin. “She’ll probably need to create a personalized app that can compute all of her data before she can come to her final decision.”
“You’re a smartass, you know that?” I toss back to him, and he just laughs.
“Does it help that Mom told me I needed to tell you I’m really proud of you?” he questions, and my mom sighs.
“Wesley, leave your sister alone.”
“Yeah,” my stepdad Wes chimes in. “With that pathetic GPA you’ve got going on right now, you should maybe consider trying to learn a thing or two from Lex.”
My brother snorts. “Whatever.”
“Lexi, honey, what are your current choices?” my grandma Wendy asks, and the pressure of having everyone’s attention on me is starting to make my skin feel a little itchy.
It’s not that I don’t like the attention or that I’m not thankful for it, but it’s just a little overwhelming. I swallow against my discomfort and start to answer my grandma’s question, but my brother starts talking before I can.