Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 130307 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 652(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130307 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 652(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
I nodded, considering.
“Listen, I also don’t have the best track record with men,” Chef confessed. “But I think I know a good one when I meet them. I think I can tell pretty quickly what lies at the heart of someone. And I can tell you in all honesty, without hesitation, that Will is a good man.” She arched a brow at me. “I think you know that already, too.”
“I do,” I said, rolling my lips together. “But just because he’s a good man doesn’t mean he’s ready to be a good partner.”
“Oof,” Chef said, tapping my hand as she stood. “I can’t argue that. I think you need some space to think. And maybe a trip to see your family.”
“They’ll just yell at me.”
“Then let them yell,” she said. “But find your own voice, too, Chloe. You have a strong one. And you have something to say, something worth saying. It’s okay to disagree with them. And it’s okay if they disapprove when you do. Because let me tell you something — having their approval will mean nothing if you lose your own happiness in the process.”
Those words hung over me as Arushi left to head back inside.
In fact, they stayed with me all through breakfast. Ava joined us in bright spirits, and I helped her with her ankle before she and Uncle Mitch were laid out in bean bags in the living room with her favorite show on the television. He and Chef both urged me to take the day off like Will had suggested, and after a shower, changing into fresh clothes, and feeding my fur babies — I decided they might be right.
I was still hurt by Will leaving without a word that morning, but after talking to Arushi, I realized that I might be jumping to conclusions. I was built to do that. It was in my blood, drilled into me by two women I looked up to and respected all my life.
But was there no room for understanding, for compassion, for realizing that just like I have baggage and won’t always be perfect… the same is true for him?
Still, I didn’t even know what he was thinking. Maybe he really was just an asshole, and he’d come home later and act like nothing happened, like last night was just another night of our deal.
Even as I thought it, that possibility felt weak.
Regardless, I wouldn’t know until later, and right now, I needed to take my own time to figure out what I wanted.
And to do so, the first thing I needed to do was face my past.
So, I snatched my keys off the counter, hugged everyone goodbye for the day, and headed to Mom and Grandma’s.
Heartless Fucking Pricks
Will
I needed to go home.
It was after two in the afternoon now — far past the end of practice and any excuse I had to stay at the arena. My body was weak, rebelling against my whirring mind as I pushed myself to exhaustion on one of the bikes in the team gym.
I’d shown up earlier than necessary, rolling in at seven when practice didn’t even start until nine. After practice, we had a meeting pre-scouting our opponents for tomorrow’s game, and then most of the team had stayed for an hour or two of training before leaving.
But I was still here.
Vince and Jaxson invited me to Vince’s beach house to get away for a while, but I declined.
Coach checked in on me, making me promise not to work myself into the ground before the game tomorrow. Still, I stayed.
Now, I had sweat dripping into my eyes, hands weak on the handlebars, legs aching as I pedaled slower and slower, my energy leaving me in monstrous waves now. But I wanted the pain. I wanted the fatigue. I wanted to feel anything other than the gaping hole in my chest.
I was a fucking coward.
I’d woken in the middle of the night with my chest so tight I thought I was having a heart attack. The reality of what I’d done with Chloe was like a thousand knives to the gut, and I’d curled into a ball on the floor of my bathroom until my breathing had somewhat steadied.
As soon as it had, I’d dressed, slipping out into the living room without saying a word to Chloe. She’d looked so peaceful sleeping in my sheets, and the longer I watched her, the more I longed to just climb back in with her.
But she deserved more than that.
She deserved me knowing what to say when we finally spoke. She deserved me having a decision made, a plan, an apology… an explanation.
I didn’t have any of that in the early morning light, so I left her with a kiss on her forehead and a silent promise that I’d have something worth her time when I returned.