Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 80045 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80045 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
“Do you think he'd look at you differently?”
“No,” I say. “For all his cockiness, he's actually a pretty compassionate guy.” Memories flood my mind of him going out of his way to make me feel like I’m a forethought in his mind.
Like the times he showed up with my favorite iced coffee just because, or the times that he does the dishes we used from the night before, before I've even woke up.
Little things that added up to big things that added up to more complicated feelings in my heart.
“But we've never had any kind of conversation about exclusivity,” I continue, my voice lowered as more players walk by us. “For all I know he could be out sleeping with other women.”
“If you believed that, you wouldn’t be sleeping with him,” Reese says, and I shrug.
“He could,” I say. “Just like I could because we've never had any kind of conversation that expressed any wish that we don’t want the other person to do that.”
“But you guys spend almost all of your free time together,” she counters. “Even at away games. And you're not sick of each other yet?”
I shake my head, thinking back to my previous relationship with Brian and how sometimes between practicing with him and dating him I would make up excuses just to get alone time. A fabricated final or feeling under the weather just so I wouldn't have to constantly be at his side.
Just another red flag that I totally ignored early on in our relationship that would’ve saved me a lot of time and exhaustion had I listened to those little instincts screaming at me to run.
“He's so much fun,” I say. “And not just in the ways you'd expect, but in all the ways you wouldn't. I have fun watching Netflix with the guy, but he plans these little adventures too that are downright ridiculous. Last weekend he took us to this vintage penny arcade, and I can't remember a time I've had more fun.”
“Sounds like you trust him,” she says.
“I do,” I say, but there’s a slight hesitation in my voice even I can hear. “But the shit with Brian is still so fresh, and Lawson came out of nowhere. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to be able to not have any attachments for at least a year to get my head on straight after everything that Brian did and is still currently doing.”
“Has he left anything at your place again?” she asks, concern rippling over her features.
“The flowers have stopped,” I say with a sigh. “But the texts have ramped up to at least ten a day and a couple voicemails along with it. He's fixating in a big way and it's starting to really freak me out.”
“And you haven't gone to the police yet because?”
Ice-cold fear trickles into my veins at the thought, at the truth behind my lack of urgency when it came to contacting the authorities about his behavior. “I think it will make him worse,” I say. “Because in all honesty, what are they going to do? They can't arrest him for sending me lots of texts and calls and leaving flowers at my door. He’s done nothing that would actually merit an arrest. Trust me, Lawson asked me to look into it.”
“Brian is an asshole,” she says, shaking her head. “A toxic asshole who clearly needs boatloads of therapy. Lawson doesn’t seem like that kind of guy. But I get it. You don't want to make the same mistakes again, and you didn’t have much time to breathe before Lawson walked into your life.”
“Right,” I say, comfort squeezing my insides at my best friend's understanding.
She's not judging me for being the jerk I know I'm being by not telling Lawson the truth about my father, she's only offering support.
“I will tell him,” I say, needing to assure myself. “I just don't know when. I think I'm scared. We both said in the beginning we didn't want any kind of relationship, so if we're sticking to that, and he’s really out there pursuing other women, then there's no need for me to tell him something so serious about myself. Right?”
“If you really believe that about him, then yeah. If he’s being casual and seeing other people at the same time, then no, you don't owe him a thing.”
“Have I told you I loved you today?” I say, squeezing her in a side hug.
“Earlier when I brought you a croissant,” she says, smiling at me. “But a girl likes to hear it more than once.”
“Well, I do love you,” I say. “You’re the best.”
“I try,” she says before pocketing her phone. “I think I've got enough for a video,” she continues. “I'm going to head to the office and work on the footage.”
“Have fun,” I say. “I'm going to go try to teach these boys how to skate some more.”