Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
“You wanna read the book?” he quietly inquires to which I simply shake my head.
Ry walks over to the near by chair and grabs a book on the way. I honestly miss hearing him read most of it thanks to trying to rewrite my thoughts into a less jumbled fashion. At the end, I offer to take her, knowing she requires a bit of rocking or swinging to help her drift.
The instant she’s securely in my arms, head pressed against my chest, I begin a gentle side to side swinging action.
Ry’s question is said just above a whisper, “You think I’m selfish?”
My lips press together in a silent refusal to answer.
“Knock that shit off, Pres,” he unhappily commands, taking a moment to dim the lights in the room. “I’m your boyfriend. You talk to me when you have a problem or something to fucking say.”
“How about I get a little of that same fucking courtesy?!” I quietly hiss, not wanting to disturb the drifting child. “How about you remember that you don’t think for me? That maybe what you deem unimportant is important to me?” The gentle continued rocking causes her to snuggle against me harder. “You did this shit when you decided you wanted to go back to school. You told me like an afterthought. And then I had to find out from Noah today that you had narrowed down your choices? When did that happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Guilt begins to stir in his stare.
“Because you thought it was unimportant. Gonna guess you thought the same thing about the break in to the apartment above yours last week, which I found out about from Merrick!”
“Yeah, because it wasn’t ours,” he barks at the same muted volume we’ve been feuding.
New spikes of fury flash through my system and luckily for me, I can put the little one in my arms to rest so that we can have this argument at a normal volume.
Placing Shelby in her crib is swiftly followed by properly tucking her in as well as insuring she has her sleep toy within reach.
The two of us successfully slink out of her room and a bit down the hall prior to me unloading, “Who gives a fuck if it wasn’t your apartment, Ry?! It was still close enough to matter. That was definitely one of those almost still counts moments.”
His mouth twitches yet words aren’t given the opportunity to form.
“And I know how much you hate your father. I really do. I’ve listened to some of the horrific shit he’s said and witnessed some of the less loving things he’s done but him dying is something important enough that you should’ve at least told me!” My hands plant themselves on my hips. “What else are you keeping from me?”
“Nothing.”
“Is it really nothing or are you fucking thinking for me again?”
He narrows his gaze on a growled, “Nothing.”
“I wanna believe you-”
“Then fucking believe me.”
“Then stop giving me these moments to doubt you!”
As if the words bitch slapped him in the face, he slightly stumbles backward.
Shit.
Wrong thing!
Ugh, where’s a piece of bread when you fucking need one?!
It takes a moment for Ry to get his bearing yet when he does, he – to my surprise – calmly submits, “Okay.”
“Okay…what…?”
“Okay.” His nodding is proceeded by him taking a hold of my hand. “No more ‘thinking’ for you. You want me to share shit. I’ll share shit. I’ll overshare. I’ll be Mary Fucking Starshine in this bitch.”
Not laughing isn’t possible.
And neither is not melting at the sight of his smile.
“I don’t ever want you doubting me or my love or us.” Ry slowly shakes his head. “So, I’ll work on this shit.” The corner of his lips kicks upward. “I hear you.” He gently pulls me towards him. “I am acknowledging you.” His arms wind around me while my hands land on his chest. “And I will work on spilling the tea all over your fucking table.”
Between the reference to a recent argument that we had and the playful declaration to be more open, there’s not much else I can do besides smile sweetly. “Thank you.”
“And I’m gonna start this super oversharing shit right now.”
Bracing myself is instantly done. “I’m ready.”
“I wanna have a family with you someday. I want Shelby to play with her cousins on the weekends. I wanna have huge holiday get-togethers with both our families. I wanna look at our credit card bills and cringe at the amount we spend every Christmas and then look at the pictures each year and remember it was so fucking worth it. That’s what I want. That’s me speaking and not thinking for anyone but me.”
The words thoughtlessly leave my mouth. “I want the same.”
Excitement as much as relief floods his gaze. “Yeah?”
“Maybe not large amounts of debt due to over shopping, but yeah. I want the same thing.” My hands glide themselves to a folding position at the nape of his neck. “Just not yet, okay.”