Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
“Why?”
I hate it when he replies to my rambling with a single question. It forces me to talk more, which isn’t my strong suit when it comes to him. God, it was so much easier when I hated him and constantly threatened to stab him.
With a sigh, I say, “So there aren’t any stupid codes we’re breaking if we’re seen together in public.”
He wraps an arm around my back, his hand rubbing soothing circles as he squeezes my legs between his.
And now I’m distracted again because I love how he showers me with affection.
“You want to come out?” His low voice demands my attention.
“I don’t know about coming out. I’ve decided I don’t like labels, so I’m not doing that. I’ve accepted I’m into you, and that’s that. But I want to take you to meet my parents and grandpa. Maybe my cousin Niko, too—he keeps teasing me about it, so why not? Maya and Mia as well. Maya’s the one who keeps recommending those soapy dramas. Oh, and my brother, but you better not fall for his bullshit, or I swear I will stab you.”
I pant, having said the last bit in one breath.
Kayden stays silent, and my chest tightens more the longer the pause stretches.
“Say something. If you don’t want to, tell me—”
“I do want to, and I’m extremely proud of you, baby.”
The praise warms me, and I press closer to him, soaking it in.
I lift my head to look at him. “You’re really proud of me?”
“Mmm. You’ve come a long way.”
“Is it okay if I don’t believe I’m gay? I think I’m just fluid or ace. I don’t want to box myself in.”
“Then don’t. And don’t ask if it’s okay. People are different and don’t usually share the same experience, especially for something as complex as sexuality. I like you the way you are and that’s that.”
“God,” I breathe out, my voice catching. “How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Be so accepting? You don’t even seem hung up on your own sexuality.”
“Life is too short. All I need to know is that we’re sexually compatible and that I wanted you from the first time I saw you.”
I form a V at my chin with my thumb and forefinger. “Because I’m beautiful?”
“There’s that, but I also wanted to explore that untapped rebellious submissive streak I saw in your eyes when I had my shoe on your cock and you trembled.”
“Asshole,” I mutter, stroking a line across his chest.
He laughs. “Wasn’t I right?”
“Fine. I love the pain and submission, but only if you’re the one dominating me and making me take it.”
“And that’s how it’ll always be.”
“Deal.” I grin. “Back to my earlier suggestion. When will you come to meet my family?”
“Not now.” I feel him stiffen.
“Why not?”
He strokes my hair. “Remember when I told you I couldn’t come out for security reasons?”
“Yeah.”
“I truly can’t. My family wouldn’t accept it.”
“But Rachel and Jina…”
“Can’t set foot in the States if they want to remain safe. I can only see them when I travel to Europe.”
“Oh.” My heart sinks. “Is your family one of those that’s homophobic bigots?”
“Unfortunately, yes. Massive pain in the ass—no pun intended.”
“Can’t you just disown them?”
“It’s not that simple.”
I swallow hard, the weight of it hitting me. I thought the professor-student thing was our only hurdle, but this feels bigger, and more permanent.
“So there’s no hope?” I whisper.
“There’s always hope.” He kisses my forehead, his lips lingering as if to reassure me. “Just give me time, baby, okay?”
I nod, grinning as he strokes my dimples. He’s obsessed with them—probably why I’ve been smiling more than usual lately.
It’s not because I actually feel like I’m bursting out of my skin with excitement whenever I see him or anything equally ridiculous.
I let my fingers skim over his collarbone, the strong lines there. “Sooo does this mean we’re in a relationship now?”
“Weren’t we always?”
“We were?”
“That’s what being exclusive means.”
“V said fuck buddies are different from relationships.”
His hand fists in my hair, tightening his grip. “Who’s V?”
“A friend.”
“What type of friend?”
“We grew up together in the States. You done being jealous?”
“Depends on how close you are.”
“We discuss dicks.” I grin. “Is that close enough for you?”
“Gareth…”
I chuckle, my chest vibrating against his. God, I think I like seeing him jealous.
“Relax. We’re just close because we’re both new to the whole being-into-guys thing.”
“I still don’t like it.”
I shrug. “Price you pay for being with a beauty like me. Everyone loves me.”
“The ego is staggering.”
“It suits your inflexible personality.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. One of us has to be a people person. Honestly, you’re lucky to have the Gareth Carson. Must’ve done so many good things in your past life.”
“The elusive Gareth Carson no one can have is all mine?”
“Uh-huh. You’ve seriously hit the jackpot.”
“I have?”
“Duh. You’re welcome, Professor.”
He laughs, the sound deep and warm, and then he brushes his lips against mine and he kisses me. Sort of…slowly, without urgency or the animalistic way that usually leads to sex.