Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100873 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100873 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Her sister didn’t give her words of comfort. She knew Catie was long past that. She just reached out and squeezed Catie’s hand, “Tell me what else Danny said.”
Happy to talk on the subject, Catie told her about the apartment and the cute garden, then said, “How’s the sabbatical going?”
“Well”—Ísa glanced at her watch—“I’m officially two hours into it and all I’ve written so far is a text to you to tell you I’d found us a table.”
Catie laughed. “Oh, we had to kick it off in style.” Ísa could’ve long ago given up her job as an English teacher. It didn’t have anything to do with Sailor’s successful business either. No, Ísa was a unicorn in the literary world—a poet who made a livable income from her work.
She thought Ísa was as surprised by that as anyone else. Ísa wrote poetry because it was part of her psyche and it gave her peace. That her words had resonated with hundreds, then thousands, then tens of thousands of people around the world was somewhat of a joyful shock.
But Ísa also loved to teach, and her students adored her. The sabbatical would, however, give her a solid block of time to work on a project she’d been playing with for a couple of years. “You still intend to focus on that long-format piece?”
Nodding, Ísa took a sip of her tea. “Sometimes I feel like that old joke about how do you eat an elephant?”
“One bite at a time.”
“Yes. Except I’m trying to build my elephant.” She put down her teacup. “It’ll be good to dig into it though.”
As they ate, they spoke more about Ísa’s work and about Catie’s upcoming meets. But Ísa wasn’t Catie’s big sister for nothing. “What is it, Catiebug?” she asked gently after their plates were cleared away. “Something’s gnawing at you, and it’s stealing your sparkle.”
Catie swallowed hard. “I don’t want to dump on you.”
“You know I’ll just worry if you don’t tell me.” Ísa patted her cheek. “You’re saving me from my own anxiety. I think of you like my own kid, you know.”
“I know.” And it was messed up that Ísa’d had to take on that role, but she had, and she’d made sure Catie always had a strong pillar on which to anchor herself. “I’m scared of messing things up with Danny.”
Then she let it all out. Her fear about her own ability—or lack of it—to allow anyone in that deep, her worry that she was too scarred on the inside to be a good partner… and most of all, her fear that he’d forget her.
Ísa listened to it all, then touched Catie’s hand again. “Oh, sweetheart. I wish Clive had been a better father, a better man.”
“Yes, but he is who he is.” She’d accepted that long ago and knew Ísa was one of the few people who truly got it—she’d had it even worse in many ways. It didn’t matter that Ísa’s father was a high-flying CEO. He still hadn’t been present in his daughter’s life. “I shouldn’t complain. You didn’t have anyone, and I always had you.”
But Ísa shook her head. “No, Catiebug. Don’t minimize your hurt that way. I might’ve had absent parents, but neither one is a roving gambler. I know how much Clive hurt you.” Fierce love in her voice. “Have you spoken to Danny about this?”
She shrugged. “Not really, but he knows, you know? He’s been around me long enough to have figured Clive out.”
“Yes, I suppose so.” Ísa frowned. “Then have you ever told him how important it is to you that the people you love stay in touch with you?”
Catie colored. “I’m clingy, aren’t I?”
“Catie, if you were any more independent, I’d put a tracker on you so I could find you when I need to.” Ísa’s tone was full-on teacher-stern. “Honey, that’s Clive talking,” she said with far more gentleness. “You never ask too much. You just ask for what any normal human being asks—that your loved ones don’t leave you hanging, leave you worrying.”
When Catie would’ve spoken, Ísa shook her head. “Are you obsessing over what Danny is doing right now? Did you not sleep all night obsessing over that?”
Catie frowned. “No.” That would be ridiculous. “I mean, after I talked to him and knew he’d arrived safe and sound, I was fine.”
Ísa raised an eyebrow. “How is that clingy? Hmm? He’s far away from you, and you just needed to touch base to make sure he was okay.”
Biting down on her lower lip, Catie said, “The thing is, Issie, I don’t know what’s normal.” She flushed again. “I’ve never really wanted to be with someone this much before.” It was a whispered confession. “I don’t know if it’s normal to message him now and then with random comments… and I want to.”