Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56771 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56771 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
“That’s why she ran,” I say softly. “She’d prefer to be out there, alone and unprotected, rather than hurt you.”
Rosa angrily wipes her cheeks. “I feel like I’m in some twisted fever dream, like somebody’s slipped me a hallucinogen. So what is this? What’s going on? Is it a fling?”
“No,” I snap, struggling to contain my anger. Even the idea of this being a fling makes me sick.
“I want—need—her forever. We’re going to get married one day. We’re going to have children. We’re the real thi—”
“And you want that too?” Rosa says, staring at Emma. “You want to have kids with my dad? You want to marry my dad?”
Emma sniffles and nods. Both of them are crying now. I feel powerless to do anything about it for either of them.
“I can’t explain it, but I’m sure,” Emma says. “I want him. Need him. I’m so, so sorry, Rosa. We should’ve told you sooner.”
“Sooner,” Rosa repeats. “As in, a few days ago? But that’s when it started. There is no sooner when it comes to this, is there? Let’s be honest about it. This is all just… ah! That’s what it is, ah!”
She jumps to her feet, the tears finally coming in full force, big sobs shaking her body. When I stand and reach out for her, she waves her hand at me.
“I can’t do this. It’s too much. No, let me ask you this, Dad,” she croaks, rubbing her cheeks. “And answer honestly. You have to. Okay? Okay?”
My throat gets tight. Regret grips me. I’ve always prided myself on being a good father and tried to do my best, but look at the results. Look at what I’ve done. She deserves so much more.
“Okay,” I tell her.
“All the stuff you used to say about Mom, about how you fell in love with her the first moment you saw her, about how you could spend hours just looking at her, about her being everything you ever wanted… You said all that for me, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“To give me a memory to cherish, an idea to hold on to.”
“Yes.”
“But… you must’ve thought you’d never actually find somebody else.”
“Before Emma, I believed I’d die alone,” I tell Rosa. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me, I thought. Some defect that makes me colder than most. I didn’t think there was a risk of anybody challenging your mother’s memory.”
“Okay.” Rosa wipes her cheeks again. I want to step forward, to offer whatever comfort I can, but she’s standing as if she’s ready to dart away at any second. “So tell me this. All that stuff you said, do you feel that way about Emma?”
Maybe a smart man would lie or frame the truth in a way that would diffuse the situation, but I’ve lied enough already. I can tell myself it was for the right reasons. I can give myself countless excuses, but it’s time to stop.
“Yes,” I say. “All of it. Rosa, if you gave me your blessing, I’d propose to her right here. This doesn’t have to get in the way of your friendship.”
“Oh, really?” Rosa replies. “So my best friend is going to become my stepmom, and it won’t change anything?”
She storms from the room. Emma stands. Rosa slams the door before Emma can reach her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Emma
“She can’t ignore us forever,” Leo says, standing near my bed.
It’s the day after the craziness in the forest, the day Rosa learned about her dad and me.
Leo has been busy with mafia business. They’re getting close to finding Fyodor’s location. I think Dario is doing bad things to the man who threatened me. Maybe I’m getting used to this life because I can’t find a shred of pity inside myself. I can’t feel a moment of sorrow for the asshole who pushed a gun against my head.
Leo’s wearing a shirt with the sleeves rolled up just a little, enough to show his hard forearms and the muscle twitching each time he flexes his hands. The top buttons are undone, showing me his firm chest. Since we told Rosa, we haven’t touched or kissed. It’s been a silent agreement and the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
“Can she?” Leo says, sounding almost unsure, a strange emotion coming from him.
“I don’t know. She’s a pretty good ignorer when she sets her mind to it.”
Leo sighs and glances down at the bed at the accountancy book that Rosa gave me as a gift.
“Have you been studying hard?” he asks.
“Trying to,” I murmur, “but I keep getting distracted.”
“By Rosa?”
I should tell him yes. The situation with my best friend is the only thing dragging my attention away. The truth is, it’s him too, knowing we share all the love and closeness and heat two people can and being unable to do anything about it.
“And other things?” he says huskily, walking around the bed, standing directly over me.