Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 80699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
I’m reading about my diagnosed depression and social anxiety when the wind blows in from the gap of the open door, fluttering the pages on the right-hand side of the file. A scanned letter covered in red splotches catches my eye then disappears again as the wind shuffles the pages more. I flip through the file again until my eyes land on the letter.
It’s a note, and I’m certain the red spots are blood. My heart thrums in my chest, growing erratic as I read my mother’s last words. My father had been cheating. He had a long-term affair with another woman. He had a whole other family. She couldn’t take the pain, the humiliation that went along with being a wife and a mother who lived for years without knowing her husband had committed such a betrayal.
She wrote that she didn’t mean to kill him, but the argument got out of hand. He was going to leave her; she couldn’t allow that. She shot him.
I found them dead after returning to the house after a sleepover with a neighborhood friend. I squeeze my eyes shut as the sight of my parents, crumpled side by side and covered in blood on the living room floor come back to mind.
She wrote this note, then she shot herself. Not one mention of the child that would return home and find them. Selfish, both of them. He in his inability to love only my mother, and she in not allowing him to walk away while she cared for her child.
It’s been four years since that day and I can still smell the iron in their blood as it saturated the carpet.
I gasp awake, my body already responding to the pain of the memories as I’m wracked with sobs. Selfishness and betrayal killed my family. I’ll be damned if I let it take me too.
Chapter 36
Kid
Waking up on the floor of the garage is clearly not one of my better moments.
“Hey,” I say roughly into the phone when Shadow picks up my call.
“Rough night?” he asks.
I know Emmalyn would have relayed last night’s events to Kincaid, who would have immediately shared the information with him.
“The worst,” I say truthfully. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Give her time,” he says, repeating the same words Emmalyn told me last night.
“She’s planning on leaving, man. I don’t have time to give.” I hang my head and rub my hand over the back of my aching neck.
“Fuck,” I hear him mutter.
“I would say try to talk to her, but I’m not sure that’s the best thing either,” he suggests.
“If I could go back,” I say more to myself than to him.
“I know. If Kincaid hadn’t gotten that call from Bryan. If I hadn’t walked out. I knew you didn’t have a fucking clue. I didn’t know how bad your memory loss was until you grabbed Emmalyn’s ass. Only a man without his memories or one with a severe death wish would pull that shit. I failed you, Kid. You have to know how much I regret stepping outside that night.”
Add one more person with remorse to my list. My actions have caused so much pain. “This isn’t on you, Shadow.”
“This isn’t on you either.” He’s firm, almost forceful with his statement.
“Doesn’t change anything. I still fucked Snapper. I still betrayed my girl, man.”
He remains silent. I know he can’t refute the truth any more than I can.
“What’s up with you guys?” I want to tell him to send the jet for me so I can help them out in Vegas, but I know he won’t. I still have staples in my fucking head, so I know I’m grounded for a while yet.
“This shit should wrap up tonight. We should be home sometime tomorrow evening if nothing goes wrong,” he explains.
“So Bryan is going to get to save his girl?”
“Looks that way,” he says. “Not only that, but we have it on good authority that most of the major players in the SINdicate have set up a meeting for tomorrow night. Looks like we’ll take the whole damn thing down in one fell swoop.”
“Incredible news,” I say with absolutely no enthusiasm.
“Keep your head on straight, Kid. This shit will work out the way it’s supposed to.”
We end the call, and I muster enough strength to climb up off of the floor and head into the clubhouse. My head is throbbing from the injury, the alcohol, and the reminders of my unfaithfulness as I walk into the main living area. It’s empty. Thank fuck Snapper is gone, but if the guys are coming back tomorrow, I’m sure she’ll be here too. The last thing I need is her walking around as a reminder to Khloe of what we did; I’m a big enough indication of that.
I grab a quick shower and my keys. I can’t help but stop by Khloe’s room on my way out. I feel the tug in my chest, the pull of my soul reaching out for hers.