Total pages in book: 30
Estimated words: 28488 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 142(@200wpm)___ 114(@250wpm)___ 95(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 28488 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 142(@200wpm)___ 114(@250wpm)___ 95(@300wpm)
Even I, who doesn’t know the first thing about gardening, can appreciate it. It’s a beautiful arrangement. In the years since her passing, I’ve made sure to keep a gardener on staff to keep it as it was, and part of me has hoped that someday I’d be able to pass it on to someone who shared my mother’s passion.
I wonder what Clara thinks of gardening?
It’s a question for another time, my mind focused on another one I desperately wish to ask her. The past weeks with her have been amazing in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
When I placed that ad online, I didn’t know what I expected to happen. It was honestly foolish of me. I wanted a woman who would obey me completely. If they got to know the real me and it wasn’t just about sex, I was sure they would flee from me when they learned who I was. What I had done.
I thought the desperation of poverty would give me a woman open to that arrangement, if only for a time.
I never expected a bright light like Clara. A virgin who looked at me as a teacher, who trusted me not to hurt her despite everything I wanted to do to her.
“You wanted to talk to me, Sebastian?”
She has arrived. Clara stands at the entrance to the garden. In our time together, she has started to look the part of Sebastian Montgomery’s woman. Her hair is well styled, curls flowing and draping over her shoulders. She’s wearing a fine dress, pink velvet with a slight flare over her legs. She’s dressed up for lunch at an old favorite restaurant of mine, one I haven’t eaten at in what feels like a decade.
Because I refused to leave the mansion. I lived like a hermit, out of shame for what I did, unable to forgive myself.
This woman has done so much for me and she doesn’t even realize it.
“I was wondering what was back here,” she says as she comes into the garden, her eyes drifting around and taking in the glory of it all.
“My mother’s pride and joy,” I say with a smile.
“I would think you’d be your mother’s pride and joy.”
“She had multiple pride and joys.”
She snickers. “I’m sure she did. You never told me about your mother. Another tragic story?”
I nod. “Less elaborate, but just as tragic. Car accident. Sudden. Blame was on a sleepless trucker. Lawsuits were filed, but it’s all done with.”
“I’m so sorry. But you seem, uh, a bit lackadaisical about it?”
My shoulders sink. “It’s the past. She wanted the best for me. And nothing ever tainted my memory of her like what happened with my father. She wouldn’t want me to linger on her passing, and press forward with my life. I won’t forget her, of course. This garden will see to that.”
She approaches a rose and takes a sniff of it. “I can see the value in moving forward. Leaving the past behind. It’s hurt us. It’s shaped us. But it shouldn’t control us.”
I stand behind her, smiling as she enjoys the fruits of my mother’s labor. “I’m looking toward the future now. More specifically, our future, Clara.”
She turns to face me and smiles. “More fun and games with your handcuffs and other toys?”
“Well, yes. But I’m talking about the bigger picture, lovely.”
“What would that be?”
I let out a long breath. I’ve been building up my confidence for this. Self-doubt has long been my nemesis, but Clara has done wonders in empowering me to realize that not everything I used to think about myself is true.
“Clara, lovely, I think it’s time that you became more than simply my captive.”
“I like being your captive, Sebastian. I’m your willing vessel.”
I shake my head. “And I like that you like that too. But there’s something more than that you can be.”
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“I never expected to find someone as wonderful as you, Clara. Not through the sheer happenstance of a shady internet ad. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it wasn’t just me looking for a desperate woman, but in fact an act of desperation on my own behalf.”
She nods along to my words, still deep in thought about them.
“You came into my life like an angel. You brought out the best parts of me all while forgiving the worst things I’ve done. I was certain I was an unlovable monster, but then you showed up, a smile on your face, a smile that endures everything. No matter what I say. No matter what I do.”
“You’ve done nothing to make me frown, Sebastian. Why would I stop smiling?”
“I want you to keep smiling, Clara. I want you to smile for the rest of your days. Your smile makes me smile. Let’s keep smiling. Together.”
I drop to one knee and she starts trembling. She knows what’s coming, and she doesn’t know how to cope with it.