Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 125020 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 625(@200wpm)___ 500(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125020 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 625(@200wpm)___ 500(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
“Was that a joke?”
“No, you know what? Never mind.”
“Are you feeling all right?”
I roll my eyes and toss down the jeans in my hands. Taking a seat on the bed, I fall back and look up at the ceiling. I want to get this all over with. Once the kids are under my roof permanently, I can breathe again.
“I’m fine. Pappoús made me a deal. I need to find someone and keep my nose clean.”
“Keep your nose clean? What kind of deal?”
“He’ll let me walk. I want to adopt my neighbors. If I can find someone to date and stay out of bullshit, Pappoús will back me and release me from my obligations.”
“What the fuck? You’re thirty-three. Why would you want to adopt three kids? What the fuck is going on with you?”
“Like I said, never mind.”
“You’re going to give it all up for those kids, aren’t you?”
“I’m not giving anything up. Look, don’t worry about it. Thanks for the call. I’ll see you when I get back.”
I hang up, wondering why I said so much. I’m just so anxious to make this work. Zoe is the one I need to talk to. Even Achilles and his fuck buddy would be more help.
Shawna
I lie in this bed, unable to move for fear of the pain that will radiate through my body with the slightest motion. I’m riddled with pain, but it’s the shame that hurts the most. I’ve gotten Mayven in the middle of all of this.
For three years, Danny has weaponized my mother’s and uncle’s careers against me to keep me in check. My family shouldn’t have to suffer because I was young, naive, and just plain stupid. I regret the night I met him. I wish it never happened.
I was so hurt after that call to Joshua. Joshua… I gasp as I think of him. It feels like I’m dying, but his voice has been the one thing to keep me hanging on.
Never let anything cause you to give up, Shawna. No matter what’s going on, never give up. Remember, I’m here waiting to talk to you and help you figure it out. There’s no need to give up.
I grab hold of his promise. I’d give anything to talk to him and hear his voice. I know one thing for sure, when I get out of here, I’m going to pull myself together. This will never happen to me again. No victims.
Aunt Celeste was right. You can’t allow people to walk all over you and make you a victim. That’s what I’ve done with Danny.
I thought I could share so much with him the way I did with Joshua. I learned I was so wrong. It was never safe to trust Danny. I know that now.
By the time I figured out the truth, it was too late. Tears burn my eyes and my jaw pulses with an ache that’s blinding. I try to inhale deeply and my ribs holler in protest.
Don’t give up, Shawna. Never give up. You’re going to survive this.
As I lie here encouraging myself, Joshua’s last words to me come to my head and I cling tightly to them.
I’m still here for you. If you ever need me and I do mean ever, call. I’m still your person… I miss you. I’ll be waiting.
God, I hope he is waiting. I’m going to need my person. I miss him so much.
I won’t give up, Joshua. I promise.
I know Ven is on her way. I just have to make it until she gets here. God, I hope I haven’t done something that will get her hurt.
I did it again, didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry, Ven.
Chapter 37
Torn
Kelex
“Fuck,” I roar and throw my glass across the room.
I feel like I’m going crazy. I stand in my office with my chest heaving. Dragging a hand through my hair, I move to the window and stare out, but my vision is blurred, causing me to see nothing.
“Josh, I know this looks bad, but I’m here to help. Tell me what happened,” Zoe says calmly.
“It’s all falling apart before I can even get a grasp on it,” I say to my view of Vander. I turn from the window and look Zoe in the eyes. “Someone called the caseworker on some bullshit. She dropped in for a home visit,” I seethe.
“Okay, I’ve walked through the house. You did a great job setting it up for the children.”
I blow out a breath. “Fucking Jeff. I have no idea what he was thinking. He showed up at my place to throw a welcome home party for me. That’s all fine and well, but I have three children under my roof.”
Not to mention, I’ve been home for three days. He could’ve easily picked the bar or another night. Heck, I partied enough the other night for Leo’s celebration, to be honest.