Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
“Jamie’s gone,” I told her. “I fucked up, Dr. Tanner. I hurt him. I tried to walk away, but he wouldn’t back down. Then he hit me, and I just lost it. You know how I get when I lose my mind and I just want to win. I hurt him so bad, and I just left him lying there. I swear I didn’t mean to hurt him. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t you just fix me?”
The silence on the phone line was heavy, stretching out several heartbeats longer than it should have before anyone spoke again.
“Listen carefully to me, Michael.” Dr. Tanner’s voice dropped several notches, and I could hear the rustle of movement on her end of the line. “I’m getting dressed right now and coming to your apartment. Don’t move anything, don’t touch anything, don’t speak to anyone. Just do your breathing exercises and don’t worry about a thing. I promise, you will not get into any trouble. Do you hear me? Your uncle will have someone there in a few minutes to take care of this.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Are you sure he’s… gone? Can you check his breathing without touching him?”
I blinked and felt my eyebrows coming together in confusion. It took me a full ten seconds to figure out what she was actually saying. “Oh, my God. No, Dr. Tanner. I didn’t hurt him like that.” I don’t know what stunned me more. The fact that she thought I was capable of killing Jamie in cold blood, or the fact that she was talking so calmly about covering it up. My skin crawled, and my tears dried up completely. It occurred to me in a vague sort of way that maybe I had inadvertently discovered the key to stopping a panic attack in its tracks— pure, mind-numbing shock.
“Whaaat?” Dr. Tanner asked, drawing out the word. “You mean he’s okay?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say okay,” I told her carefully. “But he’s… alive. We just got into an argument, that’s all, and it didn’t end well. I’m on my way back to Vegas.”
She let out a huge sigh that I could almost feel through the phone. “Oh, baby, you scared the shit out of me. I’m so relieved, you have no idea.”
I grunted, wishing I could feel some kind of relief, too.
“You know he’s not good for you, right?” Dr. Tanner’s comment was smooth, quiet, designed to slip in under my defenses. “The two of you are from different worlds. No matter how much you want it to, it will never work out.”
I chuckled, even though there was nothing remotely funny about the situation. “No need to waste your magical skills of persuasion on me tonight, Dr. Tanner. Jamie and I are officially done. You and my uncle can go ahead and celebrate, because I know you tell him everything.”
I stared out the window of the cab in silence, looking up at the famous flying-saucer-shaped top of the Peachtree Plaza, unconsciously comparing Atlanta’s profusion of skyscrapers to the Vegas skyline I fell asleep looking at every night. My mind was reeling, and I wasn’t even sure what I was thinking anymore.
The night had just been one painful cluster-fucked moment after another, until I found myself wanting to curl up into a ball and just stop living. Just shut it all down and stop. The problem was, I didn’t know how to die. In my mind, dying was too much like losing, and no matter how bad things got, losing had never been an option. Not for Michael Kage.
Not for the Machine.
CHAPTER 2
(JAMIE)
If the roar of humiliation in my ears hadn’t obliterated all other sounds, I might have heard the footsteps approaching where I lay prone in the yard with my pants shoved down around my knees. But I didn’t, and by the time Layla was standing over me, it was too late to make a last ditch scramble for dignity. Not that I didn’t try. I fumbled for my shorts and snatched them up my damp, dirt-streaked legs, covering myself in the most efficient way possible. The shorts were still askew, with half of the waistband flipped under, the seam off-center and pulling against my sac, but straightening my shorts wouldn’t help me look any better. Not now.
I’d never felt so laid low, or so damn vulnerable. Layla wasn’t supposed to see me like this, all used up and spit out by a guy.
Fuck, this looks really bad.
She approached, blond hair sparkling silver in the moonlight. Her skin was too pale to be able to sneak up on someone easily in the dark. It caught every beam of light on its surface and reflected it back.
“Jamie?” Her voice was gentler than I’d ever heard it, and a little bit scared.
I averted my eyes from her, pulling my shirt down lower than it was meant to go, stretching the fabric out of shape. There just weren’t enough clothes on my body to hide me from her. Everything private was now pretty much covered, but it still wasn’t enough. I’d been intimate with this girl for months, had tasted her body and let her taste mine, but now she seemed like a stranger who had never seen me naked, much less taken me into her body and watched me come.