Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
After they wheeled her into surgery, we returned to the waiting room, and I sat between Layla and Dad. All three of us were engrossed in our phones for the duration of the wait. Dad played Candy Crush, Layla texted incessantly with her friends, and I answered messages on Kage’s website and social media profiles. There weren’t a ton of them, but I drafted careful responses to each one, making sure I didn’t say anything that could be misconstrued. Every now and then, I’d click over to make sure a text from Kage hadn’t slipped in while I wasn’t looking. Of course, it hadn’t.
There was a TV monitor in the waiting room that listed all of the patients who were in surgery and their current status. Over the course of the morning, we watched Mom’s status change from Prep, to In Surgery, and finally to In Recovery. When the last status popped up, I took a deep breath, and only then did I realize just how tense and frightened I’d been. After a while, a nurse came and fetched us to the ICU where Mom would stay until they felt it was safe to put her in a regular room, where she would recuperate for several days before going home. Again, Layla wasn’t allowed in. Mom spoke first to Dad and then to me. I can’t remember what she said exactly. All I can remember was thinking how glad I was to be hearing her voice again.
Once it was announced that she would be fine, I took Dad’s car and drove Layla back to get her VW. It was as awkward a drive as I could ever remember having. I stared straight ahead like I had blinders on, tapping my thumbs on the steering wheel in time to the music on the radio.
Finally, Layla turned to look at me. “You know, you don’t have to try so hard to pretend nothing is wrong, Jamie. Your mom is in the hospital, and you broke up with—” She couldn’t say his name. “That guy.”
Hey, at least she had chilled with the Spanish slurs.
“I’m not pretending,” I lied, working to keep my tone even. Was that how normal people sounded? I couldn’t quite remember. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
Layla huffed and turned to face forward again. When I chanced a quick glance in her direction, her delicate features were drawn tight, and I realized that I wasn’t the only one who was hurting.
“Hey, Layla…” I didn’t know what I was going to say to her, but words rolled out anyway. “I appreciate you being cool about all of this, for being good to me when you don’t have to be. I know it can’t be easy for you to see me like this, but I promise you one thing: I was into you while we were dating, okay?”
I saw her cut her eyes over at me skeptically, so I pressed on, needing her to understand.
“You’re the coolest and hottest girl I know, and I care about you. But this thing with Kage? It’s the first time I’ve ever felt like I was in a grown-up relationship. Does that make sense? Like you date a bunch of people, and you care about them all, and then all of a sudden you realize that this new person might be different.” I glanced sideways at her and laughed for the first time in what felt like forever. “Hell, I don’t know what I’m saying. I suck at this relationship stuff.”
“Actually, I hate to say this, but I think maybe you’re pretty good at it for once. You did kinda suck at it when we were together. It makes me think.” She bit her lip and stared thoughtfully out the window. “I think maybe I haven’t fallen in love yet. Not true love. I thought I was in love with you and we would get married someday, but when it didn’t seem like you were moving in that direction fast enough, I was ready to find someone else. That couldn’t be true love, right? Being ready to throw it all away that fast?”
I didn’t answer. She had just admitted that what we’d had together wasn’t love, and I agreed, so it was settled. End of discussion. I definitely did not want to keep that particular can of worms open. The best thing to do was just shut it and back away slowly.
When we got to the house, I didn’t even bother going inside. Instead, I rounded the side of the house and made a beeline straight for the gazebo, silently cursing it. Gazebos were supposed to be romantic, but this one would forever remind me of the worst moments of my life.
I figured Layla would just grab her shit and get in her car and go, but instead she followed me. Honestly, I think she was scared I was going to do something crazy.