Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 130512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 653(@200wpm)___ 522(@250wpm)___ 435(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 653(@200wpm)___ 522(@250wpm)___ 435(@300wpm)
She let some of the tension go, settling more fully over me. She rested her forehead against my chest. “My dad was on that list.”
“And your dad is still around, isn’t he?”
Unlike mine.
I didn’t say the words but we both fell quiet, hearing them anyway.
She tensed all over again. “Mason…”
“Don’t, Sam.”
“But Mase—”
I shook my head. She tried to sit up, to look at me, but I kept her against my chest. I just wanted to hold her. I didn’t want to hear her sympathies about what her sister helped put in motion.
“Your dad,” she still tried.
“No, baby.” I tipped her chin back, my eyes falling to hers. Brushing some of her hair behind her ears, I held her back for a moment. “This is all I want to say about my dad. He made the choice. He was helped in making that choice, but he did it. I will never know how much he was actually in fear for his life or if it was his excuse to go and be with Analise. He’s gone. Your sister and Park capitalized on him, but he pulled the trigger.”
“What are you saying?”
I didn’t realize she’d been wearing makeup, but some of her mascara smudged from her vomiting session. Two lines traced down her face. What did it say about me that somehow, that made her even more beautiful? I smoothed the lines away, using my thumbs. I needed to grab a washcloth to wipe the rest away, but I was so far gone for this woman.
Every word I said in my wedding vows was true. I meant them then. I meant them now. I’d always mean them. She was it for me. There was no one else, there would be no one else, and if anything happened to her, I would burn the world down. Feeling all the love, the tenderness for her, remembering how she’d been there for me after James died, I would never be able to love her enough. I’d never be able to show her the magnitude of how much I loved her.
No words, no gestures, none could touch the depth of how my soul cherished this woman in my arms. I still tried, whispering, “It would break my heart if you let one word of what that deranged girl said into your soul. It’s poison. Plain and simple. She’s toxic. Park Sebastian got inside her head and he infected her. His sister turned her back on him. His mother. His father chose us over him. He has no one and somehow he was able to get his tentacles on her. That’s not on you, and most certainly anything that comes from her mouth is tainted by him. You’d never believe a goddamn word if Sebastian himself were saying it, so why are you letting yourself take to heart what she said? She’s a goddamn mouthpiece for him.”
A sheen of tears swam over her eyes, pooling on her eyelids. The agony was there, so fresh, so real. Strong. She closed her eyes, clasping them tight as she whispered, “But what if it’s true?”
I tightened my hold on her, as if that could keep out anymore of her self-blame. My voice was rough as I replied, “It’s still not on you. We meant to hurt one person with what we did. If there was collateral, we’ll look into it and we’ll make what amends we can, but I will not let you shoulder that. It’s not yours, Sam. It’s not yours to carry.”
“What? So you can carry it? Is that what you’re saying instead?”
“Yes,” I snapped.
Her eyes widened.
In this matter, yes. I would always carry what I could so she didn’t. That was my job. That was my right as her husband. “I can carry it. It’s not going to weigh me down, but you need to let me carry it. Okay? You carry all the love for our family. You let me have this.” I caught her face in my hands, holding her with gentle care. My thumbs rubbed over her cheeks again, brushing the tears that slipped free. “The girl has hurt you, hurt my father, hurt me, and she’s trying to hurt our daughter. You don’t let her hurt you anymore, you got me? If you don’t do it for me, for yourself, do it for Maddy. Push out what she said because if you don’t, it’ll infect you too. It’s like letting him inside of you. Don’t.”
I got through.
I saw the crack, and there was a peek of the old Sam looking back at me. She was doing it, battling to stop the poison from slipping any further inside of her. She was mostly doing it for Maddy, but it did the trick. She loved our kids more than anything.
Sabrina had no idea. Nor did Sebastian.