Total pages in book: 24
Estimated words: 22555 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 113(@200wpm)___ 90(@250wpm)___ 75(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 22555 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 113(@200wpm)___ 90(@250wpm)___ 75(@300wpm)
“Right.”
“That’s why I turned my back on you. I can understand how me doing that seemed rude as fuck. But please know that it was not my intention. I am out tonight with you, and you are important to me, Jude. I’m not chatting up another woman. This was my way of trying to keep you safe.” And he just stares down at me.
“Okay. I guess that all, um, makes sense.” I squeeze my eyelids shut tight and take a deep breath. “Here’s the thing. It’s been a long time since I dated. And my dating history is not the best.”
“Give me an example.”
“Well,” I say, “the last time I was about to meet with someone for the first time, they texted me an hour before to ask if he needed to wear a condom or not.”
“Seriously?” He practically growls.
“Oh, yeah. I said wearing a prophylactic out to a coffee shop sounded uncomfortable. But he should of course feel free to do as he pleased.”
His jaw clenches. “What did he say?”
“He blocked me.” I sigh. “I don’t think I missed out on much there.”
“I don’t think you did either.” He seems to get control of his anger towards condom guy. “I’m sorry that happened.”
I just shrug. What’s there to say? Dating sucks. “Dean, it’s been a long time since I’ve had all of these sorts of feelings for someone. And I know we’ve only known each other for like a day and a half, but you inspire a lot of emotion in me. I feel like there’s a real connection between us. That’s the truth.”
“Okay,” he says in a calm voice. “I feel that too.”
“Just so you know, flying into jealous rages isn’t my thing. I can adjust to the idea that you used to date a supermodel, and I can get used to people approaching you.”
“Good. I’m really glad to hear that.” He smiles. “If it makes any difference, I didn’t like the way the guy at the next table was staring at you and trying to get your attention.”
“The guy at the next table was staring at me?”
“Yeah. He was.”
“Huh. I didn’t notice.” I swallow. “Since we’re doing such great communicating and all…I also happened to see you give Lena a couple of pensive glances. I think pensive is the word.”
“It’s probably the right word.” He softly laughs. “Like I said, I really haven’t been around her in years. The last time was when she and Jimmy were getting together. And between you and me, they had a fight this one time. It was kind of brutal. Jimmy wound up firing her. Guess I was wondering if she was really happy or not. Not because I am still interested in her as a friend. Just because, you know?”
“That’s good of you to care.”
“Now do you want to tell me why you were hiding from Jimmy behind the menu?”
“Ugh. You noticed that, did you?”
He just waits. There will be no sudden change of subject to save me, apparently.
“Look, I’m going to be brutally honest with you,” I say. “You seem to prefer brutal honesty to prevarication or any other such nonsense. The truth is he was my childhood crush, and seeing him in real life still throws me sometimes. My face goes bright red, and it is horribly embarrassing and stupid, and I wish it would stop.”
“Wait.” His lips thinned. “You have a crush on Jimmy Ferris?”
“Had a crush. When I was a teenager.”
Oh, dear. He has very much reverted to his former state of being unhappy. Crankiness fills his gaze. It didn’t occur to me that this might be a somewhat sore point for him what with losing Lena to the man. But seriously.
“Dean,” I chide. “Haven’t you ever met one of your childhood heroes and lost it? Perhaps not repeated, but still…you get what I mean, right?”
He frowns some more and then he sighs. “Rihanna.”
“Rihanna?”
“I had a thing for her when I was younger.”
I nod encouragingly. “She is amazing.”
“Crossed paths with her briefly at an industry thing a while back. I just stuttered some shit and ran away in shame. It was awful.”
“This is what I’m saying. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just some strange fixation left over from our childhood that we’re still working through and has no actual bearing on our adult lives apart from being occasionally embarrassing because it causes us to momentarily regress.”
“That was a really long sentence.”
“I feel like it hit all of the important points, though.”
His gaze narrows on me. “Jude, are you going to get over your Jimmy thing?”
“Yes. Absolutely. Any day now.” I wind my arms around his neck. “Guess we both have our sore spots. But look at us communicating like absolute champions. Let’s make a deal that we continue to talk things out as soon as possible whenever possible.”