Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 61868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 309(@200wpm)___ 247(@250wpm)___ 206(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 309(@200wpm)___ 247(@250wpm)___ 206(@300wpm)
Hell, maybe he already had.
“So let me ask you something,” his mom said.
He looked at his mother. “How have you been feeling since Chloe left you?” she asked.
“Empty. In pain. I’ve been doing everything I can not to think about it because I have only myself to blame. But Whitney’s always there, stopping me from letting myself feel more,” he admitted.
His mother pursed her lips. “Okay, let me ask you a different question. If Chloe died today, would you be relieved you let her go so you didn’t feel pain? Or would you feel angry and regret the four days you could have had with her?”
He jerked in his chair, those words finally penetrating the frozen barrier he’d kept around himself. The one he’d tried to use to keep Chloe out. But it hadn’t worked. She’d reached inside him anyway and captured the one thing he’d sworn never to give away.
His heart.
He rose to his feet.
“Where are you going?” his mother asked, a knowing smile on her face.
He grinned. “To see Dad. Then I have a couple of things to do tomorrow morning.”
“And then?” She stood up, joining him.
“I’m going to get my girl … if she hasn’t given up on me.”
His mom smiled. “Good. Because the other thing I know is that Whitney would never have wanted you to live your life alone. And by the way,” she called out to him.
He turned back toward her.
“I think Chloe will cut you some slack for being stuck in the past.”
He hoped like hell his mother was right. Because even if he deserved to have Chloe turn her back on him, he couldn’t handle losing her forever.
Chapter Twelve
Beck walked to his sister’s grave and sat down beside the gray stone. The sun shone overhead, the day fitting his positive mood. He no longer had a weight sitting on his chest, and he had his mother and her opening up about love and life to thank for the profound shift. He’d let her talk about his sister, and he’d listened instead of tuning her out or storming off because he didn’t want to face the pain.
Beck held the laminated paper and a spoon in his hand. He wasn’t one for talking to someone who was no longer alive, but he believed his sister was aware of his feelings and the changes inside him thanks to their wise mother.
She had made him see some truths he never would have realized on his own. Losing Chloe already hurt. Coming home to an empty apartment and discovering he’d driven her off had felt like he’d taken a sledgehammer to his heart, and he damned sure regretted every second since he’d rejected her. If something happened to her, he’d be just as devastated whether they were in a relationship or not. He was wasting precious time being alone and hurting the woman he loved in the process.
As much as it sucked to admit, Linc had also made a valid point. Beck had been denying himself happiness out of fear. It had taken Chloe coming into his life and making herself at home in his heart for him to be willing to listen to his mother for the first time and be able to put the past where it belonged.
Taking the spoon, he dug up a small layer of grass large enough to hold his sister’s bucket list, and he placed it in the ground. Then he covered it up again, patting down the earth.
“I know I was putting off completing the end of the list. I didn’t want to finish it because it felt like a final goodbye,” he said. “But I’m ready now because I did it. I fell in love just like you wanted me to.”
He drew a deep breath and went on. “As for getting married, well, we just have to hope I didn’t screw things up with Chloe too badly. And if I can make that happen, we’ll both go see the last item on your list.”
Smiling, he placed a hand on the cool stone. “I know you’d love Chloe, too. Just like I know this isn’t goodbye because you’re always with me.” He waited a few seconds longer, heard the chirp of a bird, nodded, and walked off, his head and his heart lighter than they had ever been.
From the cemetery not far from his parents’ house, Beck drove back into the city, to the address Linc had given him. Surprisingly, his old friend hadn’t given Beck a hard time when he’d called to ask where Chloe was staying. Linc had, however, warned Beck that this was the only chance he’d get to make things right. If Beck hurt her again, they’d be back to hostile enemies. Beck got it.
He found a parking spot around the corner, not an easy feat in Manhattan in general, and walked to the building. He knew Linc had called Xander ahead of time, and the doorman let Beck head up to his floor, and he knocked on the door.