Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 62362 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 312(@200wpm)___ 249(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62362 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 312(@200wpm)___ 249(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
“I wish. The kids used to make fun of me, so I became determined to learn everything I could about football. It was easy, since stats and understanding plays came naturally to me. And because the coach usually kissed my dad’s ass every chance he got, he let me hang out with the team during practice.” He let out a low chuckle at the memory. “I asked question after question, until I drove the man insane. But I learned fast. Soon I was helping to write winning plays.”
That, she could see. “So the football players what? Adopted you? Made you their mascot?”
“You could say that. They also taught me how to work out, lift weights, and bulk up.”
“So I have your old football player buddies to thank for your body?”
“Are you admitting that you like my muscles?”
She liked more than just that about him. “Quit fishing for compliments,” she said with a smile.
“Okay, your turn. Tell me something about you that nobody else knows.”
She pursed her lips in thought. “Well, my family knows this but nobody else does. Not even Lauren.” But she thought she could trust Knox with this secret.
“I’m listening.”
She drew a deep breath. “Jade isn’t my real name. Well, it’s my middle name. I was born Emery Jade Dare.” It was something she tried to forget, along with other painful memories.
“Why do you go by Jade then? Do you just like it better?” he asked, his voice low in her ear.
She shook her head. Big mistake. The throbbing intensified and she moaned.
“Shh. Stay still.” He pulled the ice pack off the top of her head and began to massage her forehead and temples.
She let his hands work their magic and she began to talk. “My mother chose the name Emery. My dad chose Jade. My father told me that one day, thinking it would help me feel connected to her, even though she was gone.”
His hand stilled. “Did it? Make you feel closer to your mom?”
“Keep massaging, please.” He began to rub her temples again and she forced herself to remain quiet until she could manage the pain. “I didn’t want to feel connected to my mother. I was… I still am angry at her.” For abandoning her and her brothers. For not loving them enough to get better. “After I found out, I made everyone call me Jade, and once I turned eighteen, I changed my name legally.”
Her father had resisted for a while, but she’d been insistent. Finally, he’d given in, using the only name she would answer to.
“Asher told me your mother had mental health issues,” Knox said quietly.
“She did. She had a desperate need for the attention she received when she was pregnant. Believe it or not, it’s a real disorder people suffer from. The problem was, she didn’t want to be a parent or take care of the kids she had. So Dad hired Serenity as our nanny.”
“And you were lucky to have her,” he said.
“Yes.” She yawned, thanking God that the medication was starting to kick in. Her head was still bad, but now, she was getting sleepy. “I know it sounds selfish to be angry at someone for things they had no control over, but I can’t help how I feel. She didn’t stick around. She didn’t try to get better, to be a real mother.”
Knox stopped massaging and pulled her into his arms. “It isn’t selfish. You had every right to want your mother to be your mother.”
“Thank you for that,” she murmured. In addition to the anger and hurt, she harbored guilt for her feelings. “I don’t know what my father’s deal was in allowing her to keep getting pregnant, and I don’t want to know. That was between them. But as far as I’m concerned, Serenity is my mother.”
Knox held her tighter. “Thank you for sharing.”
She breathed in deep, inhaling his comforting scent, and snuggled closer to his warmth. Thanks to the medication she’d taken, she was finally tired enough to sleep. With luck, when she woke up, she’d be past the worst of the headache.
* * *
Knox had listened to Jade’s secret, surprised she’d opened herself up to him. No doubt the pain had lowered her defenses, and though he didn’t want her to suffer, he was grateful for the insight into the little girl she’d been. As the only female in a family of brothers, she’d have needed her mother as she grew up. Knowing she’d had Serenity in her life would have helped, but deep down, she still felt abandoned by the woman who’d given birth to her.
Knox didn’t fault Jade for holding on to her pain, but he doubted the mixture of guilt and anger she was keeping inside her helped with the migraine headaches or her anxiety. He admired how hard she fought to do her job and live her life despite the potentially debilitating issues. She was a strong woman.