Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 53529 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 268(@200wpm)___ 214(@250wpm)___ 178(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 53529 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 268(@200wpm)___ 214(@250wpm)___ 178(@300wpm)
“Easy. I get to be with you. I finish my law degree and fight for all the people who went through what my family did.” Joy’s killers avoided responsibility for years. We finally got justice, but it was a long battle that nearly destroyed all of us.
“That’s it? That’s all you want?” River asks.
“I wouldn’t mind keeping this body. Being able to lift buses with my pinky and never needing a plane ticket again are pretty cool.”
“But what about the quality of your life, Huff? Is it low-key? Is it busy and always in the public eye? Do you want more than you can handle, or is everything manageable?” she asks.
“I want peace in my life, but I want to know my existence has meaning. I want to fight for what I believe in, but I don’t think the cost should be the lives of everyone I love.”
“So you want to be with me. Check. And if you can treat me as your equal, then you have me. Just requires you to listen and weigh in my needs, too. Next, you want to be a lawyer. Good. All you need is a university who’ll take you. With your GPA, that shouldn’t be a problem. So check that box, also. Hopefully, that’ll lead to helping people you feel empathy for, so let’s assume that works out. Next is your body. I can’t see it changing after eight months, which I can’t say disappoints me. You were attractive before, but the added terrain is pretty nice. Granted, I’d take you either way. So that just leaves the quality of your life.”
“Just that?” Seems like a big hurdle.
“It’s like Sam told me: if you want peace here,” she presses her hand to my heart, “then you have to find it here.” She points to my head.
Sam again. I’m going to have to meet this guy and punch his head. I really don’t like that he’s had an influence on her. Who is he?
River adds, “Ultimately, it’s up to you, Huff.”
“How’s it up to me,” I say, “when I can’t control Morris any more than I can control the weather?”
“Exactly. You can’t control if some madman holds a city hostage. You can’t change the fact someone will always be out to do you wrong. You can’t change any of that. So what? Are you really going to let them ruin your life and rob you of every opportunity to be happy? No. No you won’t.
“So here’s where you sit.” She holds up her hand, counting down with her fingers. “You get to decide your quality of life. You’re in control no matter what comes. You have me as long as you take my needs into account. You can go back to school and finish your degree if you want because no one’s stopping you. So, as far as I’m concerned, the only thing standing in the way of your perfect life is you.”
“I can’t run off to go back to school and walk away from this disaster I created with Morris.”
“Yes, you can. Because Morris created it, not you. He gave those drugs to people at our school. He decided to hold Paris, LA, and Atlanta hostage. Not you. Just…walk away, Huff. Don’t give him what he wants.”
“But people are going to die, River.”
“Do you believe Morris can produce enough of that stuff to keep millions of people from dying for three months?”
“No. Not likely.” He was probably working for months to make the batches he put into the water. It had to be a lot of juice.
“So then don’t try to find Morris and risk your life to kill him—something he’ll be expecting. Just walk away from this, Huff. Live. Be with me.”
I see her point. She doesn’t want me dying on a hill I can’t conquer. But the other part of me can’t just sit back and do nothing.
“I know that look on your face, Huff.”
“I’m not going to fart.”
“What? No. I meant that you’re not convinced, and if you’re not convinced, then it’s because you’re not hearing me.” She squeezes my hand. “This is what I need from you, Huff. I need you to let all that go. I need you to stay. And if you love me, you will.”
Part of me gets what she’s saying: She can’t have peace of mind if I put myself in danger. On the other hand, she’s never been this selfish before. It’s not a bad thing, because being selfish every once in a while is necessary. We have to take our own needs into account. But this is out of character for River. She’s always been a give-until-it-hurts kind of person. It’s why she wanted to study psychology. Nonetheless, I have no choice but to take her words seriously. People change. People grow. I know I have.