Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79892 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79892 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
“Fox...was here...?” he asked, mouth dry.
“Oh, yes.” Bustling about busily, his mother piled a plate high with pancakes, even though Summer had no appetite—but no heart to tell her that, either. “Showed up quite out of the blue. I haven’t seen him in months, and I...well.” She clucked her tongue. “He was smiling. And actually stayed for tea. He always says no, but he’s...well. Something’s different. Whatever do you think has gotten into that man?”
It’s more like who he’s gotten into, Summer thought, but clamped down on his tongue hard.
He didn’t want to think it was because of him, anyway.
But he could hope.
“I, um... I really wouldn’t know,” he said, fumbling around his teeth, his tongue. “He’s pretty hard to read sometimes.”
“Is he?” She slid the stack of pancakes in front of him, the bottle of syrup following almost like a challenge. “I’ve always thought he was quite painfully simple.”
“Really?” Reluctantly, Summer picked up his fork. He loved his mother’s cooking, just...he’d already eaten at Fox’s, but he didn’t want the hangdog, sad look that would come if he turned her down. “Maybe you could explain to me, then, because he’s driving me sideways just trying to understand what he wants.”
“Fox wants what anyone wants, dear.” Lily settled in the chair adjacent to his, and rested her warm, thin hand to his wrist, watching him with her eyes clear and soft and sympathetic. “To never hurt again. The problem is...even as old as he is, he’s never realized that that’s not possible. Not unless you shut yourself away completely, so that you can’t feel anything at all. And that’s no way to live.”
Summer bit his lip, poking at his pancakes, leaving little rows of four holes in the stack. “I want to tell him hurting is just a part of life,” he murmured. “But I... I can’t imagine what he feels to even say that. It feels disrespectful. I was so young when Dad died... I don’t even remember how it hurt.”
“I do,” Lily said softly. “Your father was the love of my life, and there’ll never be another. Losing him shattered me, but that doesn’t mean I would let myself stop feeling everything just to avoid that pain.” She smiled, then, and offered her hand to Summer. “If I had, I’d never have been able to love you...and I couldn’t live without that, my precious boy.”
Summer set his fork down and slipped his hand into his mother’s, clasping tight. It ached to think how old she was; that one day she’d be gone, too, and he’d learn what that pain felt like all too deeply.
But he had her now.
That warm, soft hand in his, so very real and here and now.
Sometimes that was all that mattered was having now, instead of worrying about what might come later, or when now would inevitably end.
Everything ended.
Just because things ended was no reason to avoid beginning them at all.
He smiled, running his thumb over his mother’s knuckles. “Love you too, Mom. I just...wish it was as easy to say that to Fox.”
His mother arched a sly brow that said she knew far more than she let on. “Oh, I think he knows how you feel. Considering the way he nearly spilled his tea all over himself when I asked how well you were performing at the school.”
Summer choked, inhaled, wheezed, then stared at her, the tips of his ears going vividly hot. “Mom!”
Lily only smiled that innocent smile of hers. “Well. I hadn’t been one hundred percent certain, but that reaction certainly confirmed it. I do hope you’re being safe, darling. And using plenty of lubricant.”
“I—you—I cannot have this conversation with you!” he garbled out, every word twisting and tripping over his tongue horribly; he just stared at her in horror, fingers rigid in hers. “You—you knew?”
“I do now.” With a pleased smile, Lily pulled her hand from his and patted his knuckles, then rose to her feet, briskly dusting her dress off. “Eat your pancakes, dear. I’ll get you some milk.”
Summer just...stared after his mother, as she bustled to the fridge.
And Fox wondered why sometimes, Summer just bit the bullet and dove in, no matter what outrageous things were in his head.
Summer had learned from the best.
But even on his worst day...
He’d never be as incorrigible and wonderful as Lily Hemlock.
* * *
The fact that Summer wasn’t back yet shouldn’t make Fox so restless.
Fox shouldn’t be so...so needy.
Shouldn’t want to be around Summer so much.
He was the one who had set the time limit on this.
Even if he was greedy to want to make the most of it, to enjoy what he could while they had something...
If he wanted too much?
He wouldn’t want to leave, when the time came.
But he still didn’t think he could stand to stay.
Nor could he stand to sit still. He’d been staring at the stack of homework assignments in his lap for nearly an hour, since Summer had texted and said he was staying late at Lily’s to do some work on the house, and to eat without him.