Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 63199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63199 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Vlad sucked on his bottom lip, his hands holding Sebastian’s hips in a bruising grip. “Throw me out,” he croaked, kissing the corner of Sebastian’s mouth. “Please, throw me out.” He kissed the other corner before pushing his tongue back inside, his hands slipping under Sebastian’s boxers to pull their bodies flush together.
“Stop,” Sebastian said weakly.
Vlad kissed him deeper, his arms tightening around him.
“Stop,” he managed firmer, pushing at Vlad’s chest.
Vlad went rigid, his body fraught with tension.
At last, he stepped away, looking at Sebastian like a thirsty man at a well, his hands balled tightly into fists.
Sebastian closed his eyes, breathed in, breathed out, and opened them.
“You can’t do this,” he said, pulling his jeans up and avoiding Vlad’s eyes. “I can’t do this, not again. I know you must be confused, but it’s not fair to me, Vlad. You can’t keep dicking me around. I can’t—I won’t let you. If this makes you uncomfortable, if you’re freaking out, that’s it, we’re done.”
Vlad locked his jaw and nodded, clasping his hands behind his back. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just—” He shook his head. “Never mind. It’s my problem, not yours.”
Sebastian nodded uncertainly, hugging himself. “I don’t dislike you,” he said. His throat felt raw. “Not anymore. I’m glad we could talk it out and act like responsible adults. I guess...I guess we can be friends if you’re staying in London?”
Vlad stared at him oddly. “Sure,” he said after a moment. “Why not.”
Licking his lips, Sebastian looked around the room, searching for something to say.
“So are you moving out of Luke’s place?” he said.
“Yes,” Vlad replied. “I need to find a place, actually.”
“The flat next door is empty,” Sebastian said without thinking and promptly wanted to kick himself.
“Thanks. I’ll look into it,” Vlad said, putting his jacket on.
Sebastian knew he wouldn’t. They would never be neighbors or friends. They never could be.
This was really it.
“Yeah,” Sebastian said, nodding unnecessarily and swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat. “See you around.”
Their gazes met and held for a moment that felt like eternity.
I could have loved you.
In another life, they could have been something together. Something good and strong and bright. Something that didn’t hurt. Maybe in another life, Vlad wouldn’t have been raised to hate what he was. Maybe in that life Sebastian wouldn’t be afraid of love and would allow himself to trust and love again.
In another life.
But not this one.
Vlad turned away and left.
As he heard the door close after Vlad, Sebastian sat heavily on the bed and stared into nothing, his throat thick and achy.
Chapter 25
One month later
The door to the security center opened and closed.
“The new intern is crying,” Anna said.
Vlad made a noncommittal noise, without opening his eyes.
“Why is he crying?” Anna said. “Vladislav!”
Vlad opened his eyes and shrugged, knowing it would drive her crazy. Anna was a stickler for rules, the type to do everything by the book and never question Roman’s orders. Needless to say, they had never really gotten along.
“He has no spine,” he said at last, glancing at the security feed showing the kid crying outside the room. “I’m not in the mood to babysit stupid kids today.”
Anna crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re never in the mood since you returned to work. You would think getting a second chance would put you in a nice mood instead of turning you into a tyrant. It’s the fourth employee you’ve made cry this week alone. Someone’s going to complain. We aren’t in Russia anymore, Vlad.”
He gave her a flat look. “If you have issues with my behavior, you can bring it up to Roman.”
Anna sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re back—I was sick of doing your job on top of mine—but you need to deal with whatever has you snapping at everyone. Whatever is wrong with you, fix it.”
“Nothing is wrong with me.”
She smiled. “You’re an asshole, but you’re not that much of an asshole. Fix it, Vlad.”
She left and Vlad sagged back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Fix it?
He wished he knew how.
It had been over a month. His bad mood got worse by the day, and he constantly felt like punching someone. There hadn’t been an opportunity to punch someone, but he had been snapping at his subordinates and reducing them to tears. To put it plainly, he felt like shit and was taking it out on everyone around him. With Christmas approaching, pretty much everyone was in festive spirits, and it only highlighted what a miserable bastard he had been. If Sebastian saw him now, he would call him a bully and would be absolutely right.
Vlad heaved a sigh, beyond annoyed with himself. He had managed not to think of Sebastian for a whole two hours. That must be a new record. If his thing for Sebastian had been a disease, the lack of exposure to the cause definitely wasn’t helping.