Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 46699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
The unmasked pain in Oscar’s eyes brought a new wave of guilt, regret and resentment at the unfairness of it all. “I wanted it to work,” Jared said. “You’re the kind of man I always wanted for a partner: nice, and unselfish, and—”
“But I’m not him,” Oscar said.
Jared averted his gaze. “You’re a better person than him.”
“But I’m not him.”
Jared remained silent.
His jaw clenching, Oscar nodded and turned to the door.
“I tried to fall for you,” Jared said. “I thought that maybe if I could for anyone—”
“Don’t.”
“—it would be you. If I could choose—”
“But you can’t,” Oscar said tightly. “And neither can I.” He gave a weak attempt at a smile. “But at least I know better than to fall for a straight guy. Good luck with that.” And he left.
Oscar didn’t slam the door on his way out.
Gabriel would have.
Jared sat down on the unmade bed and buried his face in his hands. Goddammit, he was tired. Tired of fighting this. Tired of forcing himself to feel what he didn’t feel. Tired of suppressing the emotions he did feel. He’d done it for years. He had tried one-night stands, he’d tried relationships, he’d tried to move on and live away without Gabriel. But nothing had worked, and deep down, he knew nothing ever would.
I love you. Gabriel’s voice, soft and sincere, whispering in his mind. You can’t say I don’t feel it only because I don’t want you that way. I love you in every way that matters.
Jared bit the inside of his cheek until he felt the bitter taste of his blood.
Chapter 12: Claire
Claire put her son into his crib as carefully as she could before straightening up and wiping her forehead.
She glanced at her watch and was somewhat surprised to find it was only midnight. It felt like Jules had been crying for hours until he finally exhausted himself into sleep a few minutes ago.
Yawning, she changed into a fresh t-shirt and went to the bathroom. God, she was exhausted. Her arms ached, her back hurt, and the thought of a soft mattress made her insides tingle. Maybe she should have listened to her friends and hired a full-time nanny.
By the time she returned to the room, Gabriel was back, too. He was sitting on the bed, a giddy smile on his face.
Claire came to an abrupt halt. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him smile so widely.
“Good news?” she said quietly, glancing at the phone he was clutching in his hand.
Gabriel looked up at her and grinned. And for a moment, Claire forgot her exhaustion, the sleepless nights, the ache in her back, and felt a stirring of attraction. The emotion seemed foreign now. How long had it been since she’d felt something other than irritation, resentment and anger? Lately all they seemed to do was fight and argue.
“Yeah,” he said, looking back at his phone. “Jared just called.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “Jared?”
“Yeah.” Gabriel grinned again, his face full of excitement and joy. “He’s coming back.”
“Oh.”
Gabriel jumped off the bed and started pacing the room. “Obviously he’ll need a few weeks to take care of things and he’ll need a…” He frowned. “Dr. Boyle has Jared’s job now, though. But Jared is much better than her—surely the board will see it and give him the job back? Maybe if I talk to the club’s owner—”
Claire shook her head with a chuckle. “You can’t be serious. It was Jared’s own choice to leave. Dr. Boyle is the senior club doctor now. You can’t get the poor woman fired only because you want Jared to get his job back.”
Gabriel blinked a few times, as though it hadn’t even occurred to him that what he was contemplating might be a bad thing. “Right,” he said. “I’ll have to think of something else.”
“You don’t have to think of anything,” Claire said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Jared is an adult, he’s a highly respected professional, and I’m sure he’s fully capable of finding a good job without your help.”
“I know that,” Gabe muttered, rubbing his hand behind his neck. “Obviously. I just wanted him to get his old job and be with—” He cut himself off.
“And be with you all the time?” Claire finished quietly.
Gabriel shifted from one foot to the other, looking uncomfortable and kind of embarrassed.
But he didn’t deny it.
Claire sat on the bed and stared at Jules’s crib blankly. God, she wasn’t even surprised anymore. And she was too tired to feel any anger or jealousy. Truth be told, a part of her was relieved. She’d been glad when Jared had left, but she’d had no idea how much it would affect her relationship with Gabriel, and not in a good way. There had been a month or so before the baby’s birth when Gabriel had made an effort to hide from her how shitty he still felt—not that he’d been very successful—but after Jules’s birth, things had only gotten worse. Gabe’s disinterested and moody behavior drove her crazy and she often ended up wishing Jared was there to deal with him—because she didn’t know how and sometimes found it hard to care. It was pretty ironic that she had wished for Jared to leave, but now that she had Gabriel all to herself, she felt sick of everything and she was pretty sure he felt the same.