Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 47381 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 237(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47381 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 237(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
Shit.
This wasn’t helping her anxiety at all.
Please don’t let Mikey punish the band just because I’m a mess.
“Jolie?” Addison asked gently. “Are you all right?”
“I really messed up, Addie. What if we get fired? I could have ruined the guys’ careers!”
“Hey. You didn’t ruin everything.”
“You don’t know that. I was hiding in a freaking closet. Brand had to come find me. He’s got far more important things to do than chase around after me. I feel really bad. Perhaps I should send him a muffin basket.”
He had to be so annoyed with her.
It was part of the reason she’d left last night after her set instead of waiting to talk to him.
She hadn’t wanted to see the disappointment and anger on his face. Sure, he’d defended her to Mikey; he’d been nice to her. At times. However, after having some time to think, she’d come to the conclusion that he’d only been kind in order to get her out onto the stage.
“I don’t think I’m going to like what’s going on in your head, am I?” Addison asked. “You are not to blame for everything that goes wrong, Jolie. Knowing you, you’ve been running yourself ragged for the last five months. You can’t keep pushing yourself like this. Of course your body is going to protest, eventually. And no, I wouldn’t send him a muffin basket.”
“You think I’m just tired?” All right, she’d get some sleep. Relax. “I just need some rest.” She still thought the muffin basket was a good idea, though.
Addison sighed. “That definitely wouldn’t hurt. But I think it could be more than that. I’ll run some blood tests, but I think I know what’s going on. Jolie, I think you might be burned out.”
“What? How can I be burned out? We’ve been on tour for five months. That’s impossible.”
“No, it’s not,” Addison told her. “Not when you work as hard as I know you do. You have to start taking care of yourself better.”
“I take care of myself fine.”
Liar.
The look that Addison gave her told her that she was thinking the same thing.
Drat.
Maybe having a doctor who knew her so well wasn’t a good idea.
“I think you felt ill at the idea of picking up your guitar because you need a break. A real break. Not one where you spend your time practicing and rehearsing. Are you still running every day?”
“Um, yeah.” Sometimes it felt like the only thing keeping her sane. The only time she could clear her mind was when she was running.
“Don’t push yourself too hard, you could injure yourself. You’ve lost weight. I don’t need to tell you that you didn’t have it to lose. Do I?”
“Addie, don’t get all doctor on me.”
“I am your doctor,” Addie replied. “I think you need to destress entirely. Maybe… maybe let someone else take control for a while so you can rest.”
For some reason, an image of Brand filled her mind.
Lord. What was wrong with her? Brand wasn’t interested in her. And even though he gave off Dom vibes, she didn’t know if he was into that. He certainly didn’t seem like a Daddy Dom.
“I don’t think I can do that.”
“Have you been to the club since you went on tour?” Addie asked.
“No. And you know I can’t go back.” She twisted her fingers together. It would hurt too much to see Keith with Letty.
“What Keith and Letty did to you was shitty,” Addie said with a glower. “I still think you should have let me knee him in the balls.”
“While that would have been fun, you would have gotten kicked out of the club.”
“They’re the ones who should have lost their memberships,” Addie said. “You shouldn’t feel like you have to stay away. You need this, Jolie.”
“I don’t. I’m doing just fine on my own. Taking care of myself.”
Addie gave her a skeptical look.
Which she totally deserved… because, hello! She was here because she’d been hiding on a shelf for fuck’s sake.
“I’m not right in the head, Addie.”
“Don’t speak like that. There is nothing wrong with you that a holiday and a caring, firm Daddy with a good spanking hand won’t fix.”
“Hey! I don’t need a spanking!”
“You forget who you’re talking to,” Addie told her. “I know you. And you definitely need a spanking. You know self-care is important, Jolie. And for you, that includes being able to let go… to let someone else take control. Being a Little is part of who you are and it’s special. You’re special. You’re kind and sweet and caring. Amazing.”
Right. And Keith had still cheated on her with Letty. So she couldn’t be that wonderful.
Stop. It.
“You really think I’m just burned out?” she asked, ignoring the other stuff.
It hurt too fucking much.
And she couldn’t let her Little out. When would she do that? While on the bus with the guys? Just pull out her coloring books? Or her stickers?