Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 105665 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105665 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 528(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Her Guardian.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-SEVEN
“I called you for closure.” Jersey wrapped a blanket around herself as she approached Ian sitting in a chair on the deck shrouded by trees.
The sun started to peek over the horizon. After waking to an empty space next to her in bed, she needed to make sure they were still them.
Wearing jogging pants, a white tee, and sipping a cup of coffee, he glanced over his shoulder and smiled that perfectly lopsided grin. “This is closure.”
She leaned over his shoulder and snapped a quick selfie with him.
“Ah hem …” He lifted a curious brow at her.
“I have to prove something.” She sent the picture to Natasha while sitting in the chair next to him. He smirked, handing her his cup of coffee. Jersey blew at the steam and took a sip. “It is?” She handed the coffee back to him. “Is it closure?”
“Closure is not a good word.” His mouth twisted as he watched the birds flutter and jump from one branch to the next. “As much as I’ve tried to bury my past, lock that door, pretend that it never happened, I can’t. You’re my past. And for you to be my future, I need to let our lives be whole. Acknowledge the pain, accept what happened, and show gratitude that we are in fact survivors. I don’t know … maybe my story could help people.”
“You set a man on fire.”
“Okay, maybe not all of my story will be helpful.” He cringed. “I had issues, even with the Russells. They loved me. They fostered my love for basketball. But Fisher changed me. The day you watched me beat him with a baseball bat, the day you dropped that bunny, the day I told you to be brave and run fast … it changed me at an elemental level. I struggled with self-identity. Forgiveness. I just wanted to be someone else.
“Music let me be someone else. It’s hard to explain, but sometimes a talent can feel like its own person, its own thing or existence. I suppose you could call it an alter ego on the stage, like Ian Cooper was the talented part of Christian Guardian Faulkner. It was fun to let Ian out on the stage, so much fun that I never wanted to go back to being that other guy. So … I didn’t. But I also didn’t go back to anything or anyone else. I didn’t visit the Russells, or friends, or anything associated with that life. I just didn’t think I could hold on to any pieces. And when I heard about their deaths, I regretted it. When I saw you in Newark … I regretted it. Had I kept in touch with them, I would have found you. And when they died, I would have saved you.”
“Saved me?”
“Yes.”
“How? Were you going to adopt me?”
He shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”
Jersey laughed. “Daddy Ian. It’s a little …”
“Don’t.” He chuckled. “Now you’re making it weird.”
“Had they adopted both of us, we would have been siblings.”
“Jersey … stop.” He shook his head, hiding his grin behind his coffee mug.
She tugged the blanket around her tighter. “Did you know Charles and Dena had a dog named Cooper? He died of cancer. It was years before I was with them, but I saw a picture of him. He was a German Shepard. Did they have him when you were there?”
Ian nodded slowly, keeping his focus on the trees and the birds.
“Oh my god!” Jersey laughed, reaching over to put her hand on his arm. “I get the Ian; it’s from Guardian. But Cooper … did you name yourself after a dog?”
Ian rolled his lips together, narrowing his gaze a bit while keeping it focused away from Jersey.
“Coop? Did you name yourself after a dog?”
“A dog makes it sound crazy. Cooper was more than just a dog.”
Jersey giggled, bending at the waist, holding her belly. “That’s the best … it really is. God, I love you, Coop.” As her laughter settled, she glanced over at him.
He watched her with a bit of amusement and something else, maybe an uneasy disbelief? “Do you?” he asked with a stifled confidence. An Ian she didn’t know. Not the Ian who owned sold-out venues of screaming fans.
Her smile deflated a bit, feeling his vulnerability squeezing her heart. “Yeah, I do. I love you, Coop. I meant what I said … I’ve spent my whole life waiting to love you.”
Ian laced his fingers with hers, giving her hand a firm squeeze. She took his coffee from his other hand and set it on the little table. Then she crawled onto his lap, straddling it. Her favorite place to be.
“I don’t want to close the door to our pasts either. If we leave it open, it just shows how strong we are. It means we know we don’t have to run anymore because we are brave and strong. And sometimes I might want to look back to discover things about you in the now, like you named yourself after a dog.” She grinned.