Total pages in book: 64
Estimated words: 59913 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 300(@200wpm)___ 240(@250wpm)___ 200(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 59913 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 300(@200wpm)___ 240(@250wpm)___ 200(@300wpm)
I could see and hear her angst in every word and knew she’d been having a hard time with her decision to leave her child behind.
“Why didn’t you tell me you had a child?” She took a minute to answer and I knew she was choosing her words well.
“It just never came up I guess. Besides, you’re usually growling at me about something or other, when was I supposed to bring it up?”
“Smartass, go to sleep.” I got settled in the chair as she tossed around on the bed until she got comfortable.
I watched her from beneath lowered lids until she finally fell asleep, then my attention shifted to the child.
So small, so helpless; she needs me too. How can I have the mother without the child? It’s not possible and I’m not that much of a monster.
The poor little thing looked so helpless and alone, and I imagined my woman at that age, alone in the world with no one to love her.
At this rate by the time the two of them are done with me I won’t have any heart left because they’d have taken it all.
She made a noise in her sleep and tried to turn but the tubes got in her way. I eased over to the bed and tried to settle her so she didn’t wake her mother.
As I sat there running my hand over her little head to calm her in her sleep my heart opened up just a little to make room for her next to her mother.
Once she was settled again I took up vigil in my chair once more to watch over the two of them. I must’ve dozed off from sheer exhaustion, because next thing I knew the child was whimpering.
My eyes flew to her mother who was out cold.
I got up and went over to her. “What is it sweetheart, do you hurt?” I tested her forehead and found her a little warm to the touch.
Panic gripped me in the gut and I flew out the door and down the hall to the nurse’s station. The two women sitting there looked up at my approach.
“The baby’s awake, she’s hot, take care of her.” They rushed by me and into the room to check her over.
All the movement woke Gia, who sat up with a start and a look of terror on her face. How often does she do that?
Wake up with the fear of her child being hurt or worse? “It’s nothing to worry about, she’s fine, it’s just time for her medication.”
The nurse assured us before leaving the room and returning minutes later. She injected something into the IV and left.
Gia climbed into bed with Amber and held her and I caught the little girl peeping under her mother’s arm at me.
Now that she was awake it was easy to see more of her mother in her. They had the same lips, and around the forehead was the same.
Her hair and eyes were most likely from her father. She was tiny so it was obvious she was going to take after her mother in stature as well.
The more I watched the two of them together, the less I thought of the man who’d played a part in her conception and focused more on the woman who had stolen my heart.
Her love for the child was evident and each time I caught those little eyes staring at me curiously, I felt a little more of my jealous anger fade.
Now I was sitting here wondering how I could’ve been mad at the child for being born. What an ass.
I was still not sure how to feel about the love she’d borne her dead husband though, that shit still stuck in my craw.
Maybe I needed to look into this shit, see if it was normal or if I’d fallen off the rails. Was I supposed to be this irrational about something that had happened in her past?
Get it together Evan you can’t change the past, it’s impossible. But no matter what I told myself I couldn’t evade the thoughts and feelings inside me.
I thought about the life they’d shared. How had they met? Was it love at first sight? How long did it take before she gave herself to him?
Did he make her smile? Did he fill the void left by the loss of her family? I tormented myself with those and many other thoughts as I watched the two of them.
Like was she thinking of him now at a time like this and wishing he was here instead of me? That one really gutted me and I felt a pain so sharp I had to rub my hand over my chest where my heart felt sick.
I have to get a handle on this somehow before I do something I’d regret. But since I’d never suffered the pangs of jealousy before I didn’t know where to start.