Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 110624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 442(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 442(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Even though my face was turned toward his, my eyes were facing the floor.
His voice was deeper and more insistent when he repeated. “Look…at me.”
When I did, he finally spoke. His eyes were glistening with a fiery intensity, and he didn’t take them off of me for a second. “I slept with Desiree…twice. The first time was about a week before I met you; the second and last time was the day you moved in. I am not proud of it, but it was just sex. I know that sounds really bad. It’s the truth, though. She doesn’t mean anything to me, and we had a clear understanding beforehand that it wouldn’t go any further than that, which was why I agreed to it.”
“I see. So, you’re also a whore who wants nothing more than sex from a woman, so much so you agree to that stipulation beforehand? Well, you would have gotten exactly what you wanted that night in your room from me, but you didn’t even try. Clearly, it wasn’t me that you wanted it from.”
He said nothing in response, just grabbed my bag and threw it down on the ground. Then, he took my hand and led me forcefully down the hall. I hated the fact that my body so easily submitted to him while my mind resisted.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“We can’t have the conversation we’re about to have in the middle of the living room in case they come back upstairs.”
My heart rate accelerated because I didn’t realize there was going to be a “conversation.”
Jake led me inside my bedroom and closed the door, turning on the small lamp for some light.
We both stood facing each other, and I crossed my arms as a protective mechanism when he walked toward me and backed me gently against the wall.
I could feel his breath on my face. “You think I don’t want you?”
I shook my head no, but didn’t respond.
“That thing with Desiree…was a huge mistake. If I had even known you existed and that it would come back to haunt me and more importantly, hurt you…it never would have happened. Never. Do you understand me?”
I had been looking at him but suddenly looked down because the thought of him and Desiree made me sick. I continued to remain silent.
“You need to believe me. I haven’t so much as thought about another woman that way since the day you walked in the door.” He stopped talking until I looked up at him again. “Before I met you, I had only been going through the motions of life. I hadn’t really felt…anything…for a really long time.”
I looked up. His eyes were passionate and sincere when he said, “My heart hasn’t beat the same since I laid eyes on you, Nina. Ever since that day, my entire life has been about doing everything in my power not to want you like this…because I don’t want to drag you into my fucked up life.” His voice cracked. “But despite doing what I thought was right, I want you more everyday, more than I fucking want to breathe.”
My chest tightened upon hearing those words, which unraveled me. Despite the shock of finding out about Desiree, I believed him. He had always given me his full attention, and I never once saw him with anyone else since the day I moved in.
He placed one arm on each side of me, locking me in against the wall. I was losing my breath but stayed silent as he whispered, “I have been trying so hard to stay away from you…because with you…it would be so much more than sex. I would need to be all in because you deserve all of me, and there is something I haven’t had the nerve to tell you. I don’t know if you’ll understand it.” His voice trembled. “I’m so fucking scared because I don’t want to lose you. I have never felt this way about anyone before…not in my entire life.”
My throat closed up, and I still couldn’t speak.
Neither have I. I love you so much. I don’t care what it is because I don’t think I could live without you.
Words could not do justice to what I was feeling inside for him right now.
He moved his face closer to mine. “You’re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. And then, you invade my thoughts and dreams in between. I have tried so hard to stop these feelings. I have put up as many barriers as I could stand to, but they are crumbling down. I can’t do it anymore.” He placed his mouth on me whispering into my neck huskily, “I can’t do it anymore…I can’t do it anymore…I can’t do it anymore.” His hands moved slowly down my sides gripping my hips, and his lips moved over mine when he said, “I’ve come undone.”